


The unlucky and the unloved

by DespairAsSweetAsCitrus



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Abandonment, Acceptance, Apartments, Baseball, Best Friends, Delinquent, Detention, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Sex, Head Injury, High School, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so gay for Kaoru, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Japanese Culture, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love Notes, Love Poems, Mental Breakdown, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Musical Instruments, Nicknames, Out of Character, POV Lesbian Character, POV Second Person, People will be added later, Picnics, Popular Girl, Rejection, Romeo and Juliet References, Rooftop Scenes, Rumors, Second Chances, Self Confidence Issues, Sex, Sneaking Around, Tae Hanazono, Useless Lesbians, Yuri, drama club, ex partner, gay teacher, hagumi kitazawa, japanese school, kanon matsubara, misaki okusawa, reunited, shifuna tsuzuki, transfer schools, true feelings, yamato maya - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-31 22:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 38,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15128834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DespairAsSweetAsCitrus/pseuds/DespairAsSweetAsCitrus
Summary: All you had done was stage a tiny protest of the LGBT community in Japanese schools with just under a hundred people and all of a sudden you’re being screamed at by the headmaster and being kicked out of the school with the reputation of a delinquent in and amongst everyone who knows you… or knew you. Now it was all new and so was she, the unlucky and the unloved.Rated M for later chapters.





	1. FRESH START

You had just been transferred to ‘Haneoka Girls' High School’ and you couldn’t feel more petrified. There were people left, right and centre and all seemed to know each other even if they really didn’t. The truth of the matter was that a lesbian entering an all girls school was quite a daunting situation and if anyone found out they might exclude you from the school just like the last one had done. All you had done was stage a _tiny_ protest of the LGBTQ+ community in Japanese schools with just under a hundred people and all of a sudden you’re being screamed at by the headmaster and being kicked out of the school with the reputation of a delinquent in and amongst everyone who knows you… or knew you and now it was a fresh start with new people, in a completely new part of town and a completely new set of rules… Great. You had found your home room fine, whilst the school was bigger than what you were used to, it had the same basic lay outing as your other schools so it wasn't that big a deal, what was a big deal was that the time you had arrived in the room, you hadn't heard the reminder bell ringing so had missed the first ten minutes causing a very bad impression. When you entered all eyes were on you, heads turned almost in sync with each other with the teacher’s glare being a particularly unbearable one. You found your seat and sat down, head bowed and heart heavy, you had genuinely wanted to make a good impression but it looked like that chance was out of the window. You felt something in you want to create a scene, you wanted to stand up and apologise, screaming your name and trying to make it up to each and every single member in that room because these people were going to be who you were surrounded with for the remainder of the year here but instead you just sighed and got out your books. You had been so engrossed in what you had just done, replaying it over and over again in your head that you hadn't actually heard the teacher trying to get your attention for you to announce yourself, the sharp sting in your arm was what woke you from your trance and flustered you stood up, stumbled your way to the front apologising to some people on the way past for knocking into their desks and leaned against the chalkboard, letting out a held in breath as you ran your hand through your short hair.

“Would you like to introduce yourself?” The teacher asked, impatience clearly evident in her voice but a calm composure on the outside as to not make an example of something so little. Your head shouted no at the offer of an introduction as you think whatever you said now would probably hurt you more than aid you but like the outgoing person you are on the outside you stood tall, shoulders back and simply stated “yes” in reply. The teacher moved back to her desk and watched with as much enthusiasm as everyone else in the room.

“My name is Y/N and i originally come from Koto-Ku which might explain my ruggedness.” A couple of girls giggled at that and you found yourself growing more and more confident. “I came here from my old school under grounds that cannot be explained but I assure you it was nothing dangerous.” A swift hand movement now letting your theatrical side show. “And my passion is the arts. Theatre mainly but music is also something I like to perform in when I can so if you were to ever see me it would be in the drama club.” Something about this caught a few peoples attention but the girl that caught yours was someone who was sat in the middle of the room, purple hair tied up in a ponytail and bright red eyes that pierced into yours like spears laced with poison. You held your attention to her for a couple of seconds until she smiled towards you and the red on your face was an indication to stop and conclude whatever it was you were doing… _Fuck! What were you doing?_

“Is that everything L/N?” The teacher asked, growing bored of the silence and you stood silent save for the long “um” coming out of your mouth trying to play it off as though you were thinking though it was obvious you weren't.

“Yes that's everything.” You turned to the audience and bowed, some eyebrows were raised and a few giggled, you really wanted to leave because you'd already made a complete idiot of yourself, you were late and you blushed at a girl all in the space of twenty minutes nearly revealing yourself with what could most likely turn your life around again. Back in your seat you spent the rest of the class trying to ignore the whispers and eyes that followed you around until it was over, one lesson out of six. The thought made your body shudder and your eyes go glassy as you packed up, stood by the side of your desk waiting to be let out of the class. Sports was next, you attitude seemed to pick up! You were always good at it and had never made an idiot of yourself at your old school, in fact you had managed to make the baseball team and very nearly became captain if it hadn't have been for the incident so walking into this should be a breeze. You strutted out of the room full of confidence until you heard a voice coming from behind a group of girls much smaller than the purple haired one. She excuses them all saying something you can't quite make out and starts to stride towards you, moving anyone that blocks her out of her way and before long she's stood right in front of you, towering over you and a hand by the side of your head.

“Hi” Her voice came out suave and sophisticated, a smirk playing on her lips. You knew these types of girls: popular, tall and slender and almost anyone wants them. Usually in a club like sports or dance. It was rare that they came to you but right now you weren't arguing with her… whoever she was.

“Hi. And you are?” Hoping to match back the confidence she was exuding. She let out a dramatic sigh and a grand gesture before answering.

“My name is Seta Kaoru, I’m in your classes but I think you know that already.” Another wink, another flutter. “And who might I be in the presence of?”

“Oh yeah I’m Y/N, I’d tell you more but from my display earlier I’m pretty sure you guessed.” You let out a nervous laugh trying to not think back to that and the laugh coming from above you made you feel a little better in a weird degrading sort of way.

“I have to admit, it was incredibly um entertaining.” _Ah there's the embarrassment again_. “But it was original and that was what counts. I must leave but I’ll see you in class Y/N.” And before you could even say goodbye back, she was striding down the corridor with the long legs being followed by girls from behind. _‘Kaoru huh? I'll remember that.’_


	2. ROMEO

Your day had gone fine, sports and the rest of the lessons seemed to go a lot smoother than home room but now you’d checked off the first day of school on your mental checklist, the next task was to find a job and you had your eyes on a place downtown just a short five minutes walk away from your house ‘live house space music studio’, it was quite famous around these areas and you knew a couple of the girls at school worked there so you thought that if they can work their, why not you? You stood outside staring up at the sign, illuminated in big letters which could entice even the most tone deaf of people to come and enjoy whatever show they had to offer. When you entered the building a younger looking girl greeted you with a smile and what you would assume a scripted line which every company had to use, you recognize her as Hanazono Tae, you had heard she was part of a band also, _‘my god she was lucky.’_ You walked up to the desk and smiled back, maybe she would recognise you? It might give you the upper hand.

“Hi, how may I help you?” Hanazono asked robotically. _‘No, doesn't recognise me.’_

“Um hi, is your manager around?” you asked her as confidently as you could as her face changed into a confused sort of expression. You were aware how rude and awkward it was, just walking into a building and demanding to see the manager but you had to get to the source of it all for if you had any chance of getting into this. Before Hanazono could even shout to her manager, she walked out herself, Shifuna Tsuzuki. The woman never needed an introduction, she herself was an idol in her day and her presence was still as intimidating now as it would have been all those years back.

“What do you want? How dare you walk into my studio demanding my presence. Who are you and what do you want?”  You were now shrunk, you felt like a toddler being told off by their parents for doing something they shouldn't have and now in hindsight this was a bad idea to begin with.

“I just- I um, I was asking if their were an-any jobs available.” Your sentence got quieter and quieter as you went on and the silence at the end could have stabbed you through the heart, you already knew the answer but if the silence wasn't enough to confirm it then the loud, in your face laughter as she walked away was.

“Pathetic.” Was the last word heard before she had vanished from sight and you felt like you had been chewed up and spit out, your confident demeanour had vanished and you slumped, back bent and arms dangling by your side. You took a brief glance at Hanazono who mouthed “Sorry” and pulled a sympathetic face towards you and you gestured the same back, apologising for your behaviour that you now saw as inappropriate. You heard a loud guitar riff in the back of the studio just down the corridor and your curiosity peaked, you decided that when nobody was looking you walked up to the desk, swiped one of the backstage passes sitting in a pile and make your way down to the studio. You had a close call a couple of times but managed due to your fast paced thinking and movement or just the fact that you had been hugging the wall so close, you had fallen into open studio doors every time earning some concerned looks from the people stood in the rooms and a round of apologies for more people that night than you had in your entire life. The words were getting louder, the deep and husky voice that was drawing you in was only making you want to see it more and when you finally found the source of the music you heart pounded ten times faster but stopped all at once, you didn't know how that was possible but somehow it was and you were feeling it. Seta Kaoru on a small stage in the room singing her heart out, you recognised the song, it was a cover from a popular anime but that didn't matter, her voice was so soothing and so enrapturing that you had to consciously stop yourself from just opening the door and walking right into the studio. Their were some other girls but they hadn't been around the school. _‘Maybe they were friends?’_ They weren't what had your attention though, in her arms and hands was a ES 45 guitar, one of your favourite of all time, whether that was coincidence or not you didn't know but you liked it, her fingers stroked across the strings clearly practised and you felt your eyes following every movement of them. You were being wrapped in a blanket right now and if you had to leave you might actually crash and break down. In the midst of your entrancement you hadn't noticed that Kaoru herself was now watching you, seeing you practically drool over her and it made her laugh inwardly, you were starting to look like a stalker, you would absolutely have to take it down a notch but if this is what you got then who cares! When you managed to pull your face off of the glass on the door you looked up and saw that smile again, that big, white as the stars themselves smile and a very well timed wink in your direction just in time with the words “Romeo and Juliet” sung in duet with one of the other members. The blush on your face rose at a speed that would put the world record holder to shame traveling from your chest up to your face and ears changing your entire facial colour.

“HEY YOU!” Some member of the live house were running towards probably having seen you go in unauthorised. _SHIT!_ You looked up at Kaoru once more before shooting off in the direction of the fire escape hoping your legs would carry you faster than theirs and dropping the pass on the floor on the way out unfortunately though the guards caught you and chucked you out onto the floor outside before you could run away safely, it was raining and now you were soaked but it didn't matter because you had seen what you had and that would keep you warm until the next time. _‘God this girl was full of surprises.’_ You got yourself up off of the floor ignoring all the stares of the passers by and walked home, a soft smile on your lips.

Kaoru walked out of the studio, leaving early to run after Y/N but as she got into the corridor, wrapping her guitar around her shoulders, she was nowhere to be found all except a pass on the floor, she walked over to it and turned it back and forth in her hand smiling to herself before walking out of the front door, she couldn't wait to see her in class again. _‘This girl was full of surprises.’_


	3. LOVE ON STAGE

You had been at the school just a little under a week now and you had seemed to fit right in, a couple of days in and some people started talking to you and inviting you to lunch, you had received a couple of love letters already and you were quite honestly taken aback but with every confession that you received you had given the same answer back. “I’m sorry, my heart is already captured.” Reactions ranged from the obvious sadness from rejection, some shrugged it off and said “worth a try”  making you laugh but a few girls were very persistent trying to find out who your love was, following you around constantly to see who caught your eye, who it was that made your breath hitch and made your heart flutter however you were clever and knew better than to stare off at Seta Kaoru whilst she and yourself we're surrounded but you could catch glances when you were alone a little bit, sometimes meeting her eyes making you both blush. Towards the end of the day when it all calmed down you headed towards your extra curricular activity for the day, you had chosen to follow in the path of your old school and join the drama club, it had always been in you and if you could let that passion bloom then you had every intention of doing so. You wanted to be there nice and early so instead of hanging around like you would regularly do, as soon as the bell rung you headed straight to the club, the walk was all the way across the other side of the school so you took that time for as bit of self reflection, the sun beating down on you making you feel warm, walking the opposite way to all the students heading home in a weird way made you feel unique, always going against the crowd, it was something you pride yourself on and had for a long time ever since you were little and it still continued to this day, you imagined that's what made people like you so much because you were different. What you hadn't noticed in the midst of your daydreaming and remembering the ‘good old days’ was Kaoru walking the same way as you, watching as you drifted through the crowd like you were walking on water, light as a feather and care free for just a moment, a smile played upon her lips for the tenth time that day and they were all your fault.

Opening the door was quite surreal, the stage was giant, almost triple the size of your old one and the smell of freshly crafted sets and costumes strewn all over the place made you feel at home, you smiled big and wide as a few faces watching you returned the smile before carrying on with what they were doing. You headed up the stairs and walked along the front, pacing back and forth getting a feel for the stage you would hopefully be performing on and sat right in the centre, legs dangling over the side and suddenly your stomach dropped, you just took in the size of the theatre hall and realised how many people it would fit in it, it was far bigger than you were used to and even performing outside of your old school in the drama club you attended, it was all overwhelming. You felt a gentle hand get laid on your shoulder and you jolted, pulling away as a sort of reflex that came naturally to you, you always hated that and made a mental note to work on that as it made you seem distant or so you thought. When your gaze made its way up you instantly recognised the owner of the hand as Seta and your face flushed, wondering how it was that you kept running into each other in these very specific places, _‘god you must look so weird!’_ You started to get up, flustered and for some reason feeling like you had to greet her with a bow but she stopped you halfway, you on one knee looking up at her and you could swear you really could that for a blink of an eye you could see a blush shoot across her face before she regained her ‘princely’ composure and move into the suave Seta Kaoru she was to everyone. You felt a surge of disheartenment which was completely undeserved as really you had only ever talked to Seta once so there was no reason to feel such when she returned to the manner she has with everyone, you were just one of them in a sea of girls and nothing was going to change that. You wish you could remind yourself of that as she bent down and sat next to you, you budged up a little to make room and to make sure that nothing touched which would surely send you into a fever of emotions, you were silent and so was she, the air between you didn't feel tense as such but rather suffocating, like you were desperate to say something but your stupid ass brain would not let you so you just kept opening and closing your mouth, a sure resemblance to a fish?

“So, did you like my song?” The first reaction was not to answer her question but to let out the big breath of air you had been holding and mentally thank her for talking first, once that was finished you answered finally registering her question.

“Oh..” You laughed nervously remembering how embarrassing you must have been that day and how it must have looked, you just about managed to repress it to the bottom of your mind but no, it was sure to be discussed as much as you wanted to avoid it.

“It was really good, yeah, you- um you're a singer?” Trying to sway the conversation away from you.

“Ah no, I play the guitar, that's my band you saw, ‘Hello, happy world!’ but i had written that song and everyone else offered for me to sing it so I accepted, I enjoy it, much like I enjoy being on the stage.”

“Yeah I've heard of you guys before, I can't remember where though.” You racked your brain trying to remember but nothing was coming up, all just blurry emotions and memories.

“Well we perform in places like hospitals right now until we are able to perform on bigger stages but our aim isn't really to be famous, it's more just to put a smile on peoples faces.” She offered you a heart warming smile but all you returned was dread, a look of fear and terror in your eyes as you remembered exactly where you had seen them, it was during the incident. You- NO! Now was not the time for that. You shook yourself out of those memories and looked to Kaoru, concern was all over her face but a swift apology and a shake of your head soon melted that look into a smile as she moved close to you.

“But I’m glad you enjoyed it too, even if you did get chased out by security guards.” She laughed and smiled in your direction and for the first time you returned it without being a bumbling idiot in front of her. More and more people were starting to fill in the room but you wouldn't have noticed had the teacher not announced for the club to start, both ignoring her, You were closer now, your arms were touching and it may have seemed pathetic to anyone else but the hairs raising on your arms and the rate of your breath increasing screamed everything but pathetic. A sharp sting was felt around the back of your head and you felt your eyes water a little, the teacher was raising her hand to deliver another swift hit around the back of your heads but you stood up in time not wishing to ever feel that again.

“If you two want to go somewhere and figure your romantic endeavours out then do but in my class it is neither the time nor the place, understand? I would expect better, especially you Seta. You both stood up to attention and bowed as politely as you could, making sure to add an apology on the way down, you could handle being kicked out of classes and being bad at everything else but not this, this you wouldn't mess up. You looked over at Kaoru and she seemed genuinely upset, like her parents had just hurt her somewhere deep down. _‘I really should apologise later.’_

“Now class we have a new member L/N, Y/N, please stand to attention for the rest of us.” You stood up, trying to be as dramatic as possible but all your effort were to waste as all you saw were blank stares in return, you sighed hard, this was proving much harder than your other school but it had to be worth it, it had to be! The class was spent playing improvisation training games as you had luckily walked in on a day that was deemed ‘break session’ which is what you understood as a session in between preparation for a new performance. You had tried your hardest but it’s hard to stand out in a room full of stars, it was hard to shine the brightest but nevertheless you persevered. At the end you were made aware that this space was free to anybody to use anytime if they held a club I.D. and yours would be arriving in homeroom tomorrow but the thing that shocked you the most was that the new play that was being set up was none other than Romeo and Juliet, your eyes shone and your ears pricked up, you had always loved the play despite its tragic ending and often daydreamed of it putting yourself in the romantic situations in replacement. Nobody else was surprised but the loud squeal you made _unwillingly_ made all laugh, making them feel reminiscent of how they felt the first time they were to take part in a play.

“And the auditions will be in two days” _What…? Two days… that was nowhere near enough time, you had to rehearse and read over the books and remember lines and-_ Kaoru interrupted you with her leaving and you stood up to match her height, afraid you would get lost again or worse hit again you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind.

“Are you auditioning?” _Okay that could have been worse, thank god you had some form of self control… sometimes._ She laughed like the answer was obvious, like you had been friends for years and you weren't some new kid at this school.

“Why of course I am, I'll be auditioning for Romeo and I hope you” She grabbed your hand and kissed the back of your fingers lightly. “Will be playing the role of Juliet, I think our connection would be undeniable even if just for a fleeting moment.” Another wink was shot at you and then she was gone and you were speechless but speechless with a goal in mind, audition for Juliet, _you've got this, what could go wrong?_


	4. THE PASTS GHOST (UNLUCKY)

A day off, how rare! For as long as you can remember you hadn't had a day off, this was for multiple reasons but right now you were going to sit back, relax and just let the day float by… or you were going to rehearse your lines. You let out a loud grunt in the middle of the park you were currently sat in and let your body slouch with frustration, _‘maybe if I just shut my eyes ill will know the lines and it will be fine?... fuck, no.’_ You let out a disgruntled sigh and sat back up, your brain trying to turn its cogs to get you working again and in an effort to help those cogs you reached down into your bag and pulled out the script, it wasn't the schools script which had been shortened, no lines adjusted just less of them so you opted to using yours instead, it always made you feel more authentic and hopefully if you turned up knowing all the lies, it might make you stand out more. Your Mother had bought you this before she had left and it was your most valuable item, if anything were to happen to it it would destroy you but you felt a warm comfort in knowing that it was safe and sound. With this thought in mind you set ahead on reading it, the words flowing endlessly out of the pages and captivated you in what has been a source of enrapturement for centuries, just the thought of the words being performed all that time ago and you now carrying on that legacy filled you with pride and endearment. In and amongst your reading you heard whispers come from beyond the book and a small squeak from somebody else, thinking nothing of it you ignored it and carried on, that was until you heard the name Kaoru mentioned and had to stop reading, putting the book down you saw four girls standing near you but not close enough to seem creepy, just close enough to observe you and when you made eye contact, three off the four stood up straight like they had just been caught in the act of something illegal, the fourth though just stayed put, a smirk raising up on her face, you recognised them from when you had seen Kaoru singing but in that moment you attention wasn't really upon them. _These must be her band mates, but why were they watching me? Oh God has Kaoru been talking about me?! Shit!’_

“Hi there, are you Y/N?” A girl with short orange hair approaches you first, cheery and approachable, you felt a little cautious about her, there was something about people so happy that scared you a little but hey if they were friends of Kaoru’s then you guessed they could be okay!

“Yeah I am, how may I help you?” You stood to match them and tried to be as charming as possible.

“Ah so you are just as charming as Kaoru-San, I thought she might have been lying but we can all be surprised.” A girl with short brown hair seemed sceptical of you, you had no idea why but you were to try a lot harder with her in the future to clear whatever she thought of you. The other two decided not to speak so instead you just nodded in their direction hoping it would suffice with them.

“Kaoru? She talks about me?” You felt a blush peak up on your face hoping that nobody noticed it but the girls had another thing in mind.

“Oh! Kaoru? You're on first name terms with her now? My God it's worse than we thought, is that why you're sat reading Shakespeare too? So you can impress her and sneak your way into her heart, We've got your game, leave Kaoru-San alone or you'll have me to answer for.” The brown haired girl was so close to you that you could feel her breath on your face, making you much more nervous than you wished you were, usually you wouldn't take this, you would stand up for yourself and retaliate back, shout, scream and fight if you had to but for some reason your words were stuck, your voice wouldn’t reach past your throat so instead you just looked down at the book in your hands, an unwise move as it prompted the other girl to look at it too, snatch it fro your hand and throw it into the pond behind her, the pages desperately trying to stay afloat before sinking to the bottom, like the heart of the sea. You shoved the girls out of your way and fell down next to the pond, desperately trying to save the book if you could but all your efforts were wasted, the book had already gone and you were so close to jumping in, only stopped by seeing a page float up to the top, a line standing out seemed very fitting to this situation.

“Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” You could cry, in fact you saw droplets hitting the water before you even registered that you were crying. You heard a sharp laughter ring through your ears, you scrunch your eyes in an attempt to not turn around and hit her straight across the face and fortunately for them they walked away but not before leaning over you and speaking the nickname you hadn't heard in years.

“Unlucky Y/N” A sharp kick was delivered to your back and then you were out, nothing seemed to matter anymore, you collected your bang and walked home, blank and empty inside. _‘How did they now that name? How did they find it out, I haven't heard it in years, how?’_ That was all that kept playing through your head, even as you fell asleep and woke up the next morning, lethargic and numb.

All day you had sat silent, head down and avoiding anything and everyone you could, all your admirers were trying to cheer you up, giving you gifts and telling you stories but nothing worked even Kaoru who would usually cheer you up no matter what had happened, had no effect, her eyes wide with upset and confusion, unknowing as to what was going on as you avoided her in the corridors and didn't even bother with her in drama club which you almost didn't turn up to that day.

Kaoru had no idea what she had done, she wanted to help trying everything, putting notes on your desk and trying to get your attention in class only to get herself in trouble, stopping you in the corridor but each and every time you would dodge her just short of her hands _‘so close yet so far, this isn't even fleeting.’_ She had to get to the bottom of this, she had to! And her first port of call when anything happened was her bandmates, hopefully she could solve this and have her Juliet back.


	5. THE SO CALLED 'REVELATION'

Kaoru had spent the next day depressed, she hated the word but honestly that's how she felt, it turns out you had more of an effect on her than she had thought and even a day away from you seemed to be killing her from the inside out. She had been racking her brain all night for a solution to your behaviour and all she could think is that's she stepped out of line, being too forward maybe but you never seemed to reciprocate it badly, you always had a blush on your face and eyes shining like the stars above so it can't be that. Maybe it was an issue at home? Though she had never asked about your home life as it had seemed too much of a personal matter to talk about considering you've only known each other for almost two weeks, so she couldn't cross it out though it seems unlikely. Kaoru let out a frustrated sigh and tossed and turned on her bed, figuring that lying and doing nothing would get her nowhere so instead she went downstairs to her kitchen and fixed herself a bowl of miso soup and rice cakes, her favourite meal despite what she told everybody, the warmth of the soups steam surrounded her face and she shut her eyes a moment taking in the silence that surrounded her, a rare occasion because of how popular she was meaning she never got a moment alone, she cherished these moments the most, however the empty house wasn't working in her favour and she had planned to ask you around but thought better of it after how you acted with her so instead she pulled out her phone and scrolled through the endless contacts, girl after girl all ready at her beck and calling but she never called, she never intended to lead the girls on because she never gave an incentive for the to think so but something about having so many ‘little kittens’ seemed to make her stomach turn so starting from the top she deleted every contact she couldn't put a face to, the jump from 216 to 27 was both upsetting and enlightening all at once, it made her feel light knowing that there weren't so many people that depended on her talking to make it through the day and rather just friends who she could talk to once a year and they would still be the exact same way, for the first time that day a small smile spread across her lips and in her cheerful bout she decided to text her bandmates to see if they wanted to go into the town or get a chocolate cornet or something, a small bolt of excitement running down her spine.

Kaoru: “Hey guys, want to grab something in town? Feeling under the weather and need something to pick me up.”

Misaki: Hey yo, what's up? That's not like you, you misplaced your book again?”

Kaoru huffed under her breath, conflicting between whether she should tell the truth or lie, her head was telling her to lie but her heart was telling her tell the truth and she always, always listened to her heart, it was one of the number one things her Mum had told her as she grew up so with her mum in her heart she went forth, she dialled Kanon’s number, her being the only person right now that she feels she can trust without being screamed at down the line. _‘They would all be there anyway.’_ The phone felt cold against her skin, foreign almost, she always felt she belonged to a time when technology as such was not available but she thinks she found something that makes her happy to be alive in this time, just unfortunately it wasn't the people on the other end of the line right now.

“HI KAORU-SAN!” She cringed, pulling the phone away from her face, the voices, she was convinced, nearly broke the speaker, she coughed to herself clearing her throat and as confident and as ‘princely’ as she could make it, making it sound like she hadn't had been crying all day.

“Hi, how is everyone?” Hoping this would throw the all off trying with all her right to make it about them and not her though she was aware that wasn't ever going to be the case.

“Forget us, what about you? It's not like Shakespeare's child to be down like this! What's happened?” Hagumi now, seeming actually concerned. A soft sigh out of her mouth and a tear as cold as ice dripped down her cheeks, nobody had made her this emotional in years so she was trying to pinpoint the exact reason as to why this was having such a big effect on her.

“Kaoru? Hello?” She was snapped back into the miserable phone call by the girls voices.

“Oh… I just trouble with the girl I mentioned, I seemed to have done something wrong but I cannot think of what, she never received me wrong and I always treated her like my princess even if she isn't right now.” Kaoru let her chest breath, she let most of her troubles out, they would never all be solved but this wasn't the tie for her past, it was a tie for the present and this is what was important in the said tense. What Kaoru didn't see over the other side of the phone was all the girls eyes going wide in realisation of just what they had done, to them it was meant to just stir you up, it was meant to just rattle you but they never imagined that the backlash would be so large, they especially didn't want it to effect Kaoru but unfortunately for them, it had and they had to tell her the truth.

“Kaoru-san, we need to talk to you.” A sad, sympathetic voice left all of their throats making Kaoru stand to attention, it wasn't often they got serious so this must be big.

“Okay when?” Kaoru sounded confident but in reality she was scared to her wits end, she had opened her heart and soul to you and now it was all potentially about to crushed again.

“Now…”

 *

“Okay? What seems to be the problem?” Kaoru asked, confused at the girls so called revelation of research, her face twisted with both anger and intrigue.

“Well we thought that it would make them seem like the opposite of what you would want to be with, they're a mess, there past is troubled and yo-you... We just don't want you to be the unloved”

“I don't care! Have you tried talking to them? Have you seen the passion in their eyes? Even if their past is troubled then at least they're trying to change who they are for the better and if I fall into that new life then that's what I want, I care for them and I don't need you meddling into my life to change that for me, okay?”  A silence met her over the phone and that was all, Kaoru slammed the phone down making herself jump unaware of how hard she had slammed it down on the table and got up to head out of the door, collecting her keys and stepping outside. _‘Oh…’_ She stepped back inside and ran upstairs to get into her normal clothes rather than her silk pyjamas which she had spent the last two days sulking around in. Checking herself in the mirror and running back out of the door the only objective in her mind was to find you and fix it before it got any worse.


	6. LOVE FINDS ITS WAYS

You walked along the halls, silence filling the air as you took in your surroundings, one for peace but another so you actually knew your way around this absolutely massive building they called a school. The sun was beaming in through the windows, illuminating each and every step you took, it felt magical almost, like this was the path you were made to choose and it all headed towards the place you needed most, at the end of the long corridor were the doors to your life, the stage and all that encompassed around it wrapping you in a blanket that made you feel safer than ever before but as you pushed open those doors, the smell of fresh paint and hand crafted wood in the air, there was something amiss. It didnt feel like it had done before now and you couldn't place what it was, making your way forwards you hoped you could figure it out but alas when you were front and centre, where you belonged, it still wasn't there. The dream was gone and the crowd that you always imagined being there, stood on their feet applauding you, were all just distant echoes that existed only in your head. The confident pose that you stood with faded into one of a defeated and not so brave person, the person behind the mask true identity and the old nickname of ‘unlucky’ still rolling around in your head, the name brings you pain all over your body, starting from your head, feeling like it was pounding at every inch of your skull and making its way down to your legs, numb and unmoving, something about this just disabilitated you completely though by some stroke of a miracle you were still stood upright and safe enough. Your lungs filled with air and your head needed to get it out, the only place you felt like you could, nobody was watching so would it hurt? _‘Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out.’_ and then you were off, hand gestures ready in their dramatic gesture like the performance of a lifetime was about to be showcased for yourself, the most important member of the audience because as the bard once said- “To not be true to oneself, is to be unwilling to others.”

…

_Or something like that…_

“Why, oh why must my past haunt me? Forgive me for in my life I have wasted what precious time I have but for what am I meant to do when I crave change, the taste on my tongue but yet so bitter sweet upon it. Is it my love for a woman that has cursed me to this eternal hell where I am forced to live this lie all over again. My what a wretched life for such a true love of mine, the purple haired princess capturing my heart leaving me full of life, sigh, how I wish I could live a life full of love without punishment but if I must, take me as I will just let us be.”

You finished, breath heavy and eyes watery, arm up in the air in a drastic pose and light feeling almost as if walking on air. When you returned to a pose that wasn't quite so dramatic, you heard a clap come from at the back at the hall and the purple haired princess just formerly mentioned stepped out from the shadows, her eyes also watery and her smile small but visible, the only way it could be described would be if you were to show your compassion through a single look, this was that look but in her eyes you could see much more than comapssion, you could see admiration, happiness, proudness and ost of all, love. Or so you hoped, this could be your over active imagination playing up but for now you chose to settle into the delusion. You watched very intently as she made her way towards you, slowly making her way up the stairs, her face to the side in what was an attempt to hide a blush that had forged under your gazing eyes. When you were face to face, her an inch taller than you, she wraps her arms around your waist, soft hands lightly digging into you skin almost as if, if she let go then you would float away. Unsure of what to do you moved your hands hesitant, looking up into her eyes for a sort of confirmation as they lingered around her neck and with a small nod, only seen by you, you dropped your hands and wrapped them around her. You stood silent for a moment before you felt the need to explain, words were starting to fall out of your mouth before they could be stopped.

“Kaoru I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry about how i was, it wasn't you, I didnt mean to hurt you or even try and place anything on you, I mean look at me, i've known you what a fortnight and now I’m creating all this mess and-” You were cut off by kaoru moving her head closer to your own, your foreheads touching each other and soft pants of breath hitting each others faces, Kaoru smiled wide before replying with what she had meant to interrupt you with. Simple but it was all you needed.

“Its okay, I know and its okay, you don't have to apologise for you being you, I want to know you and that means everything, from your past to your present and I want be in your future to.” _‘God how does she know what to say?’_ and almost as if she had read your mind exactly she leaned close, whispering in your ear.

“Because its from the heart.” And that was all you needed.


	7. TRUTH

In and amongst your heartfelt conversations stood centre stage you had agreed to go on a small date and when you say small you mean the date where everything was going to come out, your whole back story, your past, the reason you got kicked out of your last school, everything! And now when you were away from the whole situation, you were more nervous than ever. You had spent the previous night pacing around your room, not getting an inch of sleep which really wasn't helping you in any way, you had played back everything you could, wondering if photographic evidence would help you but that might just make you look weirder. What was she going to say? How would she react? Maybe she wouldn't want you anymore even though she said everything she did, maybe she was having just a hard time with this as you were though it seemed like she wasn't as her usual ‘prince’ persona was shining through, once again surrounded by endless amounts of girls but something in you smiled, knowing that you had seen a little piece of her that none of the other girls have ever seen before, it was like a little secret between the two of you and for the first time in over 24 hours, that thought seemed to break your self conscience mind and let you just breath for a second until she cleared out of view and it all fell back on top of you again. You let out a heavy sigh and carried yourself to your classroom for three long torturous hours of mathematics. That was another thing, you were never the most academic person so sitting down in a classroom was your idea of a bad time, you guessed this is why you liked theatre and sports so much, because you were out there, thriving and being able to do something rather than sweating in a blazer and shirt using your book for a fan instead of for notes. Your lack of attention nearly earned you a detention which you managed to charm your way out of along with making some girls become flustered which you noticed Kaoru glaring some stern looks in those said girls directions, she was already getting defensive of you like you were an item and it made your heart flutter. You stopped her outside of the classroom in order to see if tonight was all ahead and ready to go but you were shocked by what you saw when she shot up from a secretive looking position, a pastel pink blush was stricken across her face, her eyes darting everywhere but in your direction and her hands fiddling behind her, playing with something that she didn’t want you to see. Your curiosity was instantly peaked and you started to run around her, trying with all your might and reflexes to get a hold of what she had in her hand but her height kept giving her the advantage. Had you have not seen Moca sneaking up behind her whilst you pre occupied her attention, you would’ve have given up, however Moca, as quick as possible, snatched the piece of paper from behind Kaoru’s back and handed it to you, winking before running off, you did expect Kaoru to run after her, screaming at her down the hall but you kept her in place, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close as you opened the piece of paper and read it in your head, not willing to share the moment with anyone but you and Kaoru. Even the fans of the both of you didn’t bother to come up to you, it must have been clear you were busy. 

~ Poem ~

_ There are no words to describe how beautiful she is, _ __   
_ Or how special she is _ __   
_ For putting these things into words would be to define them,  _ __   
_ To quantify them which means to limit them. _ __   
_ There is no definition fitting, nor any limit nor beginning or end to my love for her.  _ __   
_ She is something ethereal and out of all the people in the world,  _ __   
_ Of all the places,  _ __   
_ Somehow, something brought us together. _ __   
_ Maybe it was fate? _ __   
_ Maybe it was a plan or life’s luck,  _ __   
_ But I am grateful to you,  _ _   
_ __ For I have found my soulmate. 

You stood frozen, you heart pounding so hard you were convinced it was actually visible to everyone around you, in the light of the halls you noticed more writing on the back and harsh black lines crossed through them but not well enough, not thinking of anything else you turned it over and continued reading.

_ ‘Somebody asked me the other day, what my favourite colour was? I looked down to the floor with a smile upon my face and answered- _

_ “E/C because it’s the colour of her eyes” ‘ _

You couldn’t take this, you were going to explode and there was more! 

_ ‘I am often seduced. _ __   
_ Not by roses or chocolate or fine perfumes, _ _   
_ __ But by the flush of blood along your clavicle when you exhale.’

Many images raced through your mind after reading this, very inappropriate and definitely not thoughts you should be having in front of the very owner of this piece of paper right now, reminding you, you looked up suddenly worried you had hurt her or upset her in any way which would be understandable but what you received instead was Kaoru with her head turned away, hand covering her mouth and a light smattering of blush hiding underneath her fingertips on her face. You had never seen this sort of shy behaviour from her before but it seemed to fit her, like a sort of second half to her that was covered up by the prince and honestly you liked this side to her, it felt… natural. Unaware that the bell had gone and the two of you were the only ones left in the corridor, you stood in blissful happiness,  _ ‘who would have thought a rough and tumble person like me could have captured the heart of someone so perfect?’  _ Sure there was a long way to go yet but right now that long way seemed closer than ever. 

_ Rrrrriiiipppppp _

The sound stirred the two of you awake and angled your attention to the teacher holding two detention slips towards you, both dated for tonight. You both looked mortified but  _ your  _ instinct was to fight.

“Wait! Why do we have detention? We were doing nothing wrong!” Your voice raised higher and higher as you spoke, unaware that the teacher had silently added an extra hour to your sentence and another excuse, however Kaoru noticed.

“Excuse me Senpai but there is an urgent matter we must both attend to an-and I find that a-a detention is inconve…” Kaoru’s voice of defence trailed off as the bulky looking man towered over the both of you, his shoulders broad and his face stern making his voice much more threatening. 

“Missing or skipping lesson, public displays of affection where it is inappropriate and between two girls no less!”  _ WHAT DID HE EXPECT? IT'S AN ALL GIRLS SCHOOL!  _ His face snarled up at that last remark and you felt a tinge of anger race through your spine, you had noticed some students watching from the doors and some teachers too but you didn’t care about that, what you cared about was your freedom and not this asshole trying to mess that up! You don’t know what came over you, you really didn’t but you lunged at the man, trying not to attack him but rather get the notebook from his hands and you may have done too if Kaoru hadn’t followed suit and stopped you from hurting the teacher by wrapping her arms around you, falling onto the floor one on top of the other. The teacher was clearly rattled by what had just happened and mumbled some swears at you both ranging from regular to homophobic. You were both unmoved when the head mistress came around the corner to see the commotion and a loud gasp was let out of her mouth at the sight. It did look exactly as anybody would think, two girls caught in the corridor doing what they shouldn’t and one of them trying to defend themselves which is not what happened or at least partly but knowing Mr I-know-about-all-your-private-life that got you into this mess in the first place, he will probably make it ten times worse. 

So now you were both sat in detention, just the two of you alone in your home room with the head mistress scolding you like you had never heard before and that was an achievement. 

“I can’t believe you two girls, I mean what on Earth were you thinking? Attacking a teacher? Y/N you’ve been here for two or three weeks and you think this is the best way to set the record?” You wanted to argue your case but you felt it would only make it worse. “You’re very very lucky I don’t expel the both of you and that’s only because nobody was harmed, I don’t care how much you want to be intimate and together with each other, you don’t do it on my grounds!”  _ So he did make that story up! _ “Seta I have notified everyone of your absence and you, even though you didn’t try to attack a teacher, still have to serve the same punishment.” Kaoru nodded and bowed in apology reminding you to do the same, she gave you both one more stern look and then left, the room was silent. You could tell that Kaoru was still digesting what had happened but she didn’t look too bad, In fact if you looked closely enough, she had a little mischievous shine to her eyes. This instantly made you feel better than you had for the last hour thinking you had really upset her but you should still apologise. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for us to get into this, I just, I lost my rag at the guy because why does he have the right to tell us who to love and make such crappy remarks?” You finished your sentence strong but nothing was met, just still silence so you carried on, a bit more apologetic and sentimental this time. 

“And I’m sorry we didn’t get to go on our date.” 

Her back shot up straight and she turned to look at you, face unreadable then without warning, she ran over to the light switch, flicked it off and ran back to her place. You could hear rustling around and wondered what was happening though you kept quiet worried you might push it too far. When the lights were switched back on you squinted and rubbed your eyes letting them adjust to the sudden brightness then you saw the source of the sound. Two desks pushed together with a little cloth thrown over it and some plastic (though pretty good looking) cutlery and plates on each side, a small electronic candle flickering in the centre and a seat waiting to be sat on, pulled out by her. You couldn’t speak, what was this? How had she managed to carry all this around and not be heard or seen with any of it? You pulled up off of the desk you were leaning against and made your way over to her, waiting for her to explain this. 

“If we can’t go to the date, we can have it here.” She crossed her hands over her heart and posed, dramatic as usual. 

“But how did you know this would happen?” Really curious in all of this.

“A prince has got to be prepared.” Kaoru smiled wide at you and pulled on the chair a little, prompting you to sit and then being tucked into the table, a soft kiss planted on your head before she made her way to the seat opposite and sorted herself.  _ This was amazing! Okay it was in the school and yes, you would both be more than expelled if you got caught but Kaoru had done all this for a single date with you, she wasn’t mad (or didn’t seem it) and she was sat across from you right now, smiling and beaming like you’d been married for twenty years and you were taking time to be alone, just the two of you.  _

“So my sweet, what would you like to eat? There’s limited options but I’m sure something could be resolved!” Kaoru chuckled to herself and you pondered what limited options were.

“I’d quite like some Miso Soup! Maybe with some Rice Cakes too, oh that would be nice but I don’t know where we would get it stuck in detention.” You scowled at that, wishing you were outside with the freedom to just eat miso soup as and when you pleased. 

“Worry not my dear, I can call the take-out restaurant and send it to the drama club where they can bring it us.” Kaoru who was already dialling the take-out looked very proud of herself and you couldn’t help but watch her with your head resting in your hands as she ordered the two portions of soup then calling a girl called Yamato Maya to explain the plan and from what you heard, she sounded confused but okay with doing it. Whilst waiting for it to arrive, you had to make your way into this whole conversation about your past but you were unsure how to start so you wanted to wait for her instead. 

“So Y/N do you wish to impart upon me what it is that got you banished from your old school? Granted it was in an unestablished area but I would still care to know.” She finished her sentence with a patient and understanding gaze waiting for you to reply, this made you feel warm and loved inside, feeling so much like you could confide in her and so you did.

“Well when I was in my old school, I was much like you in the sense that I was very popular and lots of people surrounded me and would do as I asked but I was the only known LGBTQ+ person out in the school but there were plenty others and I had witnessed a teacher getting fired for being gay after a student found his social media and leaked it around the entire school so I decided that I had had enough and I arranged a tiny protest to make my point heard and that got me expelled. Two people got hurt but they are okay now and if they would, they would talk to me but everybody in that school was warned to never communicate with me ever again because of my orientation and my actions.” You let out a heavy breath after that, it felt good to tell somebody that and you had been expecting a look of disgust to be upon Kaoru’s face but all you saw when you gazed across to her was a smile so patient, understanding and heart warming that you felt compelled to carry on. You felt like you could tell her your entire history and nothing would change, her heart would still beat for you and you took major comfort in that.

“My parents weren't the best fan of my sexuality either, in fact they were so unhappy about it that they… they uh.” You ran your hands over a spot on your body that had been permanently bruised through the years. Kaoru noticed you small movements and how you suddenly shrunk away in and amongst yourself so she leaned over the desk and took your hands in her own, running a thumb over the back of them in a show of comfort and affection, as if her one touch was speaking for her and you’d like to think this meant ‘its okay, take your time.’ making you feel much more at home though still hesitant. “They uh, used to hit me and used the fact that I like girls to make it plausible for them to do such a thing.” you felt a tear make its way down your cheek and your whole body start to tremble, you were an ugly crier so you didn't want to start weeping but you didn't know if you could help it. Without prompting Kaoru ran a hand, delicate and soft over your cheek, wiping the tear away in the process and under her breath, she whispered soft and calming, “It’s okay, I understand.” This was only for you to be heard and this moment was for the both of you to share, just alone and quiet with nothing to disturb you… A loud knock disturbed the both of you and she shot up, standing in front of you in a protective manner almost like she was defending you from your parents who was watching this and getting angrier and angrier the more this went on however it was just Maya bringing the food who looked oddly worried at the sight before her but she never said a word, just held out the carrier bag outstretched and Kaoru went and collected it, nodding in a show of thanks before closing the door again, surrounding you once more in privacy. She plated out the soup and cakes and re-joined you, giving your meal the extra attention before gulping down her meal in a way that seemed unbefitting of her usual personality, in the midst of her practically drinking the soup, you staring at her with an amused look upon her face, she stopped to check how you were and became instantly embarrassed when she saw you watching, feeling that she should slow down she straightened herself up, started to use her spoon and took small and eloquent bites of the tofu that floated around, you felt like you had just glimpsed into a world of Kaoru’s real side so started flailing your arms around catching her attention.

“Hey, no carry on! If you enjoy it then go!” You giggled at her when she practically shoved her face back into the bowl and carried on gulping, laughing at her own actions. The air felt calm, like you had no worries in the worlds, forgetting you were in detention and forgetting you were in trouble, though these moments never last long when they happen because soon you both heard heeled footsteps coming down the hallway and straight towards the room, you both sat up, a look of fear and worry in your eyes and scrambled, you ran into the corner of the room, shoving your body in the corner between the door frame and the wall, Kaoru scooped up all the items into a bag and ran, shoving it into the bin on the way past, joining you in the corner, hands at either side of your head and her body pressed against your own, trying with all her might to be polite as possible, hoping she wasn't making you feel uncomfortable and like she had invaded your privacy. You both held your breath, the echoing of her shoes ringing in your ears louder and louder, you gripped on tighter to the back of Kaoru’s shirt, her jacket abandoned in the rush and you could feel her heart against your own, her breathing ragged from panic rushing against you and you couldn’t help but raking your eyes up and down her body or as much as you could considering how close you both were. Pretty soon the walking had passed you both and Kaoru let out a sigh of relief, thankful she hadn’t just been caught which would have earned you more trouble than you were willing to give up. She started to move away, thinking that she had been giving you some sort of anxiousness or some form of panic but was interrupted when you gripped her sleeve, stopping her in the process and bringing her attention back around to you, eyes locking in a moment that seemed more heated and private than any of this together. When you were sure she wouldn’t leave you, you reached up and followed the patterns on her face, watching as the blush slowly made its way across the bridge of her nose and coloured her ears which you ran a finger over softly, a small moan left her lips and almost uncontrollably, you leaned up and met your lips together, both your eyes widened and then slowly fluttered shut as you got more into it, hands finding each other trying to feel everywhere you could before pulling away needing to catch your breath, small breaths hitting each other’s faces in the after effect. You heart dropped realising what you had just done so instead of facing it, you wrapped your arms around her entire body and sunk your face into the crevice of her neck, Kaoru let you with a small chuckle and rubbed her hand in a pattern over your back before pulling your face out of her neck and kissing you once again, your heart fluttering as you once again kissed the lips of the girl you loved. 


	8. BEHIND THE MASK (UNLOVED)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING CHAPTER!!!!!
> 
> This is quite an upsetting and disturbing scene guys so if you're not okay with reading harsh content then please don't! I don't want anybody put into a bad place because of me!

Kaoru always liked to remember herself as this prince like figure that had control of everything she was doing, wooed everybody she met and never had a worry or care in the world but of course that couldn't be the case, in fact in her younger years she had often been the source of trouble, conflict and problems and when she wasn't the cause, she was at least involved in some way. A pang of pain shot down her spine when a particular memory creeped up into her mind, one that she had really tried with all she had in her to repress. 

~

She had been fourteen at the time, growing to be a fine young woman and blossoming in her acting, one problem had persisted for the last few years however and that was her romantic feelings, she had noticed that they seemed to have been directed at girls in her own class and school, naturally that scared Kaoru to her core, there was no way she was one of the rumoured people that she heard about, read about on the internet as she secretly browsed for any inkling that her feelings were false or true. It had kept her up night after night, if this was true then surely there would be no way that anybody could love her back? With a slump she put her phone down on the sheets and let out a grunt of frustration, having cleared her search history of  _ ‘how to know if you're gay?’ _ or  _ ‘is being a lesbian wrong?’  _ in case anybody had decided to check on her. Her mind whirling with questions, her heart being torn all over but a deeply calm feeling that she couldn't ignore raced through her chest as she had thoughts of being an adult, fully grown and having a girl in her arms to hold and to love at night and during the day, the girl didn't have a face but right now just the thought alone was enough. She had been so caught up in her little imaginings that she hadn't noticed the salty tear that tracked down her cheek until it reached her mouth and she grimaced at its salty taste, she also had not noticed her Mother stood at the door, watching as her daughter stared up at her ceiling, the warm glow of the candle illuminating her face just enough to see her upset. Kaoru’s Mother was the spitting image of her, long purple hair, angled piercing red eyes and sharp features that had anybody falling to their knees in a display of willingness even just to catch a glimpse of her. She was a strict woman with certain ideals that they all lived by but that was from her own upbringing and everybody understood that. Kaoru was so alike to her Mother that she had often wondered what she had actually inherited from her Father who had scruffy dark brown hair, angled blue eyes and people often said he struck lucky to get Mrs. Seta in his arms. Her Mother was also a writer which she guesses is where her love of books and Shakespearean work came from, she would read baby Kaoru ‘Romeo and Juliet’ over and over again to send her to sleep and it always, without fail, worked. Needless of what they both shared or didn't, her motherly instinct had kicked in and she gently knocked on her door, watching for Kaoru to shoot upright in her bed and wipe the tear from her eyes, shooting a confident smile at her Mother who unfortunately for her, she saw straight past. She sat down next to her after she had scooched up to make room and took a deep breath, running her hands through her purple hair that she had noticed had gotten shorter since the last she had seen it, by only a few centimetres but it was noticeable to the trained eye of a Mother. A deep breath in from both of the girls but for two very different reasons.

“Sweetheart, what's the matter?” A gentle and caressing tone that only she could use.

Kaoru felt sick, she felt as if right now, if she blurted it all out in one, maybe she would feel better, she never hid things from her Mother, they were close and it was all so easy so why did it feel like somebody was wrapping their hands around her throat, getting tighter and tighter every time she tried to speak? Kaoru just looked down and made a whining sort of noise, it wasn't really a clear indication of anything but it felt like it could be if she listened closely enough. All that happened was a pair of arms being wrapped around her body, pulling her close and giving her a squeeze, this seemed to break her shell and crack at the edges because Kaoru just weeped, she found the comfort in being held and wept, it seemed never ending and she didn't even remember falling asleep when she had woken up the next morning. Her walk to school was mundane, the clouds seemed to be dark and only followed her in a taunting sort of way, other people walked past her and they seemed so free, Kaoru wasn't dumb, she knew that they had their problems and it was all hidden but to be so free seeming anytime looked like heaven to her right now. With music blaring out in her ears she honed in on the lyrics, thinking maybe she would find some perch with them.

_ Got a piece of my mind, to tell you who's mine, _

_ Nobody hurts like me for you _ _. _

_ Soft slacks at night, I'm wearing 'em tight, _

_ Nobody hurts like I do _ _. _

Kaoru felt her stomach twist into knots, the feeling of a kick to her stomach stopped her dead in her tracks catching the eyes of some people around her, her chest was heaving, her palms were sweating and she felt like she couldn’t breath, like her lungs were being smothered by smoke but regardless, she ran, she ran as fast as her legs could carry her, away from the school, through the crowds of people and straight home, praying that her Mother and Father were still home and luckily for her, as she stood outside her building, staring at the paint peeling off the door she could hear the familiar voices. Her body vibrated with fear, she had a second where she wondered why she had run back, suddenly doubting her motives but with a clench of her fists, she swung the door open in her usual dramatic flare and stood determined.

“Mother, Father I’m gay!” Kaoru spoke at the top of her voice and time stood still, she felt free but weighted all at once and she didn't know how to look at her parents right now.  _ ‘I DID IT! I told them, I can be free, oh why didn't I do this earlier I-‘ _

“What?” A stern voice penetrated her thoughts and suddenly it wasn’t all so free, suddenly it felt like a trap, like one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made. She looked up at her parents who were pulling faces that she had never seen before, they looked twisted and disgusted like they wanted to call her a monster and chase her out of town, she wanted to run but she couldn't, she felt frozen and stuck in place which only worsened as they both loomed over her smaller figure, grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her to the table, sitting her down with some force.

“Kaoru, what?” Her Father seemed beyond himself and her Mother… She looked… disappointed. Kaoru went up to speak again but was only interrupted by loud, ear bleeding screaming. 

“THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE! MY DAUGHTER WILL NOT BE GAY, DO WE HAVE TO SEND YOU AWAY HUH? OR DO WE JUST HAVE TO GET IT OUT ANOTHER WAY?” Her Father’s face was red and he was shaking with rage, she could feel that shaking against her shirt as he grasped it in his fist and pulled her close, spitting in her face like venom from a snake. Oddly enough Kaoru didn't feel scared, she was sure somewhere deep down she did but right now all she felt was numb almost like when she stopped and thought about it, she knew this would happen and she didn't know what to do with that information. Kaoru was thrown onto the floor and her head hit the edge of the table, a sharp sting and a sudden thumping hit her like a bullet but what she was more worried about right now was the sound of a belt being pulled out from their bedroom door and heavy footsteps making their way back towards her, she scrambled to her feet trying with everything she had so she might at least have a fighting chance, a line of blood dripped down her neck and tainting her crisp white shirt. His eyes were alight with the flames of evil that tainted them when he came back, lifting the belt up above his head Kaoru shifted her head to the side waiting for the foreign pain but nothing came. When she dared to open her eyes, she saw her Mother gripping onto his wrist, stopping him mid action, a stern and knowing look upon her face like they were holding a conversation with eye contact alone. Eventually he gave up and lowered his arm, dropped the belt next to Kaoru who flinched away from it, the metal of the clasp hitting the hardwood floor ringing in her ears louder than anything that had that whole morning and then nothing. There was nothing. She didn't feel free, she didn't feel like who she was, she felt empty, sick to her stomach with a mixture of fear and adrenaline pumping through her veins, night after night of playing a thousand scenarios in her head all boiled down to the one she had feared happening the most. She padded as softly and as quickly as she could to her room and saw a suitcase open on her bed, clothes pulled out of her wardrobe which granted weren't much with how poor they were but the action still shook her. She knew exactly what this was and she started packing, tears finally making their way out, blurring her vision as she tried with all her might to pack as best she could, fitting as much in as possible. In the background she heard shouting but one word, one singular word struck her harder than any of this had. 

“SHE IS UNLOVED! UNLOVED!” 

Kaoru hated the word, she couldn't imagine anybody that didn't have somebody that loved them but now it was her. Kaoru finished her packing and zipped up the case and dragged it out of the flat, she laid her hand on the door handle and took one last long look around her before she left, the image and memory will forever be ingrained in her mind as well as the feeling of this last single tear rolling down her face. The door clicked open and then she was out, making her way down the stairs and out onto the street hearing screams of her name behind her that seemed to be getting closer and closer, she turned her head to see her Mother running after her. When they met her Mother had two things in her hand, one she recognised as the Romeo and Juliet book that she was always read as a baby and the other, a necklace of beads that looked identical to the one that her Mother wore. She crouched down and wordlessly wrapped the necklace around her neck, slipped the book and a small piece of paper into her backpack and gave her a hug that radiated more emotions than anything she had ever felt and then she was gone, leaving Kaoru stood, clueless and scared in a world that seemed all too big and fearful right now.

~

Kaoru fondled the necklace around her neck and gripped it tight, making sure she could feel the emotion behind it, it was probably a psychological thing but she could swear that sometimes she felt her Mother grip hers at the same time and that's how they communicated, God knows how many miles apart but still loved in some way. Kaoru looked down in her lap and saw you, a small smile set upon her face and she combed her hand through your hair and remembered wanting to hold a girl close to her in life, that girl always faceless but now Kaoru knew, it was you she had dreamed of and no matter how much pain, trouble or worry she went through, she knew she had you to hold at the end of it. It was bitter sweet and that's how she liked it.


	9. MISSED

_ The rumours came first.  _

After the little incident involving the teacher and Kaoru, there had been an assembly that the entire school had to attend and whilst your names were never mentioned, the new rule of  _ ‘no public displays of affection’  _ now firmly put in its place, it was easy to recognise who everybody laid the blame on. You had been in gym class when you first heard two girls whispering about you whilst waiting to be put in game, you bit down on your tongue as hard as possible, catching fragments of sentences which were making your blood boil. 

“I heard… in the corridor…”

“I heard that Kaoru… it won’t happen.” 

At last your name was called out for a team and you gave out a sigh of relief, moving confidently up to bat, this was baseball, one of your natural talents and the sport always helped you relax even in the worst of situations. Whilst waiting for the other team to sort itself out you spotted the other class and in turn, the beautiful, purple haired prince of yours, you gave her a wave and a smile when she noticed you back and felt your heart do little flips. Okay so maybe the school was talking about you both, maybe everybody currently hated you and maybe it was going to make you miserable but you had her and quite frankly that was enough.

“Y/N THE BALL!” Multiple people screamed at you from so many directions and in a flurry, you raised the bat and swung into air, hoping that it might just do something. It didn’t. Instead you felt a hard knock on your head and then the sky was right in front of you, the floor had become much softer and voices, which were kind of blurry, were all shouting your name. You felt light, as if somebody had finally given you a break and if you just shut your eyes you would be able to drift away. However what you got was a pair of hands on your shoulders shaking you back to reality, a loud, high pitched voice shouting your name and multiple pairs of eyes watching you from above. Sitting up you groaned in pain as you raised your hand up to your head and flinched away as you felt a large bump growing under your hand. Some people started to leave your space and that gave you chance to see the tall beauty in the distance being held back by about five students as she so desperately tried to rush to your side. Taking your time to stand up, a little unbalanced on your feet, you made your way over to Kaoru who had stopped struggling as she watched you walk over, naturally you expected that after such an incident you would be excused so you played it off as making your way to the nurses office while just so happening to walk past your girlfriend. Low grumbling whispers were heard from both classes and you gritted your teeth in an attempt to block them all out but as you fell into her arms, your throat and heart released the pent up tears of frustration and pain, falling to the floor and taking Kaoru down with you, she was extremely mindful of not giving too much affection as to not get you both in trouble and in the back of your mind, you really appreciated it but right now you just wanted to be held and so you were, sweet nothings and shushes being whispered into your ears, small kisses planted on top of your head every once in a while until your sobbing had subsided and your grip on her uniform had become soft and pliant with little hiccups making yourself jump. Feeling your eyes once again begin to close, you let yourself become weightless and get carried to the nurses office with much argument from the teachers who thought that this was an excuse to get away and go make out however the throbbing pain in your head and the low groan that escaped your lips quickly made them change their minds. 

The nurses office was bleak, white exposed brick walls, the scent of antibacterial everywhere you moved and hard cushioned bed making you wriggle around uncomfortably even after being scolded and told to stay still. Kaoru had since left after being told she couldn’t stay and returned to her sports group and you were stuck, left in these depressing four walls.

“Right Y/N were going to have to send you home, do you live with your parents or are you on your own?” The nurses tone was cold and sterile.

“On my own”

She had looked a little shocked at this, expecting somebody that was dumb enough to be hit in the head with a baseball could actually live on their own and survive. You sat up straight getting a sudden urge to come across a bit more mature than you were currently being and you heard the nurse huff a laugh which sent your posture straight back down to a slouch. The nurse scribbled a note and sent you on your way, calling the next student in before you had even left. Hopping off the table, you skulked your way home, keeping your head down as to avoid any disapproving glares that you may be getting knowing that you were once again leaving before your time. This mishap was turning out to be a lot like your old school and you let out a frustrated sigh at the thought.

_ Then the nickname. _

You had heard a lot of people suddenly brandishing around the word ‘unlucky’ in your area and even though there were plenty of ways people could find out about it, you bet it had something to do with those girls that attacked you the other day. You clench your fists and saw red with rage as your mind takes you back to what happened but it was all for no avail as you stood alone, in the street walking back to your little flat, so eventually the rage subsided and as you turned the key in the lock you noticed the wave of relief that hit you as you stepped into your own safe space. Instantly taking off all of your clothes down to your underwear and jumping into bed, you let your body fall into the soft mattress that seemed like a cloud taking away all the stress that life had awarded you that day. Shuffling around a little, you got even comfier and felt your eyes become heavy, the urge to sleep was fighting against your better judgment and was winning by a long mile. 

A loud ringing tone shot your eyes open, the shrillness of it on your still awakening senses making you cringe with displeasure. Hiding yourself under the covers you waited for it to stop and it did, you let out a relieved sigh and popped your head out of the top of the sheets, curious as to what it was. You reached out to check and the ringing started again as you held it in your palm, Kaoru’s number and picture flashed up on the screen and you felt a bolt of panic, usually she would text you or even speak to you but now you think on it, she had no idea where you were or what even happened, for all she knows, you could be at the hospital right now with something worse than a knock on the head. You automatically reach up to check the wound and wince away again at the stinging pain it emits. Turning your attention back to the phone you slide the dial and hold it to you ear, letting your quiet and groggy voice take over. 

“Hello?” 

“Y/N? Where are you? I looked everywhere for you and the nurse said she’d sent you home but you haven’t been answering your calls.” Kaoru’s voice was pitched with panic, stress and anger?

“Sorry, I wasn’t feeling all too good so I had to get here.” There was a long pause. “Why do you sound so mad?” 

“Did you forget about the audition?” Her voice was strained and sounded a little like she was about to cry. Your stomach dropped and realisation suddenly dawned upon you, shouting out cusses whilst you get dressed again, running around your apartment as you tried to gather everything you needed to hear back to school. Kaoru had since been very quiet on the other end of the phone, a feeling of guilt raced down your spine but you had to push on, that’s when her voice cut through your actions and rendered you frozen.

“Y/N the audition is finished, just stay there.” Her voice was low, gut wrenchingly so and you had no choice but to take her words as fact. You dropped your bag from your shoulder and it thudded onto floor, replying with a quiver in your voice that screamed upset and apology.

“Kaoru I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to miss it, I was just unwell and-“ 

“Yes well, it’s done now, I’ll see you tomorrow.” And then she was gone, the phone clicked off and the dial tone flat, you dropped it on the bed and stood silent. You couldn’t figure out what was upsetting you the most- Upsetting Kaoru? Missing your chance to play the lead role next to her? The unsurety between you and Kaoru? All of those things were intermingling and kept doing so as you fell onto your bed once again and shut your eyes, letting the dark consume you waiting for the next day to come and take you. 


	10. THOSE CLOSEST

The next morning you awoke three hours earlier than you regularly do, there was nothing to cause this other than a pure panic from remembering yesterday and the state you left it in, instinctively you checked your phone and felt a tinge of disappointment as there were no texts or anything from Kaoru. Letting out a long, held in sigh you got up and dressed into your uniform, shuffled your way over to the kitchens counter and fixed yourself breakfast, hoping it it would quench the feeling of dread and guilt deep in your stomach. You never had time to make breakfast as you often choose sleep over food so this made for a nice change, it brought an air of peace and quiet to your otherwise hectic mind. That didnt last long however as you quickly shifted into a determined mind set and made your way to pack your bags and out of the door, the sun still rising in the sky and the streets quiet, save the sound of a few bikes riding past you and the birds chirping a morning tune in the trees. You knew that teachers turned up to school two or three hours before the students so the plan was to make it to school, beg and plead  _ (whilst keeping your reputation still!) _ The drama teacher for a private audition and then fix all the mess you made. The plan sounded perfect in your head but as you stood in front of the frowning, dark haired woman who was looking at you like you were a roach on the floor, you chances didnt seem too good.

 

“Please, I know it was the time but I was injured and I had been sent home and it couldn't be helped and-”

 

“Is this because of Seta?” The teacher seemed to bore right into your soul with that question and you winced away, hoping your body language didnt give away too much. 

 

Of course she was part of this but most of all, it was about really wanting to do this, it was just that Kaoru was a big added part of it. You continued begging, thanking whoever that the staff room was empty and you had managed to make your way in. Your eyes sparked with passion, your heart beated with need to do this, you wanted so badly to make your debut on the stage and next to Kaoru would be the best way possible, carrying on the legacy of the great Shakespeare on the shining stage. The teacher seemed to notice the beat of your heart for the passion of stage and her eyes softened, her posture relaxed and she let a small smile slip up on her lips before realising it, clearing her throat with a hard cough and returning to her previous position. 

 

“Okay Y/N, if you think you have it then lets do it however, i have already given the part to a student so at most you will be an understudy.” The teacher looked a little regrettable with that announcement and you felt you heart sink a little at the realisation but you may get a chance being an understudy and that’s better than nothing.

 

You made your way towards the theatre, following at the side of the teacher giving you a small sense of power and even more so when the theatre doors open and you see the sun seeping in through the large windows, the fresh smell of cleaning product still in the air and the props all laid out ready for the day. The teacher unhooks a singular seat and places it right in the centre of the floor, gesturing you to go up to the stage and play the part. Your breath was short and staggered making your way up the stairs, your hearing becoming hypersensitive with every sound going straight through you; the click of her pen, the squeak of the chair, your footsteps on the worn floorboards, all making your heart  pound harder and harder. You had never had stage fright or nerves that affected you too much but you were always told that if you werent nervous about performance then you werent doing it correctly. The lights blinded you almost painfully so but you gave as much of a performance as you could hoping and praying that it was enough. When you were finished you stood anxiously waiting for the teacher to finish taking her notes, the straight, flat look on her told you that what you had done wasn't too good but the small clap at the end reassured you of any doubts temporarily.

 

“Good performance Y/N. I'll give you understudy so read up as if you are performing on the main stage.” And with that, she got up, placed the chair back and you were left alone but as she was about to leave the room, just stepping out of the door, she turned around to look at you and told you something that made your heart sink again.

 

“Oh and please make up with Seta before rehearsal, I need my star performer on her top form and she wasn't anywhere near us all in auditions.”  

 

Your acting world shattered into a million pieces and threw you face first back into reality, you nodded lightly and stared off into space, jumping off of the edge of the stage and taking her up on the offer to exit the room with her rather than stay and fall into a pit of self hatred and loathing. Your walk back was awkward and silent, the complete polar opposite to how it was coming towards the theatre, your confidence was drained and you were suddenly tired from the lack of hours you hadn't slept. The teacher noticed this and let out a frustrated sigh, leading you into the classroom which you had not long ago, had a romantic picnic in but now the view was bleak and lacking any sort of brightness that that day brought. The teacher sat down at the desk and called you over to the front of the classroom, letting another sigh leave her lips but this one was in sympathy. A curious look came across your face and she pulled out a notepad and pen, writing down a quote from the author William Blake and turning it around so it was readable to you~

 

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” 

 

You looked up at her, noticing for the first time that her eyes had become soft, age had gotten to her but it was natural and you still appreciated that this was an attempt to help you in this situation. You opened your mouth to speak but was swiftly interrupted.

 

“Look, I know that you might not want to take advice from your teacher of all people but i know what you're going through and this quote is exactly what you need to remember. Seta is only mad because she was so passionate to work with you and I heard that she helped you practice line after line, you even got detention together and she has  _ never, ever”  _ she made sure to put emphasis on that.

 

_ “ _ done that before. I know your record isn't so clean but she cares and she wanted to be next to you, I see it in her just like I see it in you, so you need to make her realise that you wanted it just as much. I'm sure she knows but there's only so much everybody else can tell her without you there, she's a little stubborn like that.” The teacher leans back in her chair looking like a job well done but there was just something you wanted to ask.

 

“Senpai, can I ask you something?” Her attention peaked and you caught sight of a little nervousness but she gave out a reluctant, small nod of her head.

 

“Would you have attended the protest I orchestrated if you had been there?” You were clearly feeling brave but trying to avoid asking it directly just in case.

 

The teacher sat up, a small smile upon her face and she dug her phone out of her pockets, switched the screen on, flicked a few notifications out of the way and pushed her phone towards you and to your absolute shock, there she was, next to another woman both in wedding dresses, surrounded by people who you could only assume you were family. Your brain was taking a minute to process what you were seeing and in a rush, the teacher took her phone back worried you might feel indifferent seeing it but you shook your hands in a gesture to tell her you were okay with it and she visibly relaxed. 

 

“I think what you did was incredibly brave and even though I wouldn't have been there, I still think it was big of you. Like I said, I've been there and I will have infinite respect for you doing that.” 

 

You felt your chest swell with pride, all that hard work and conflict had actually reached somebody and that made all this feel like it was worth something in the end. Your mouth opened and closed a few times, a soft “thank you” leaving and a single tear rolled out of your eye and you wiped it away furiously, hoping she wouldn't catch it. 

 

“I want to see the person that was there, standing for what they believe in with the confidence of a thousand actors but this is just on a smaller scale, and a much more personal level. She loves you Y/N, now please, go tell her that.” And without a second's hesitation, you were up, sending the chair you were sat on flying backwards, cheeks painted red but with determination. The teacher gave you a small nod in reply to your thankful glare and then the world was yours, doors open and the entire school ready to be taken over, all for her.


	11. WHILST PRAYER'S TAKE EFFECT

The school would have been your stage if you hadn’t have turned up three hours earlier so for the remainder of that time you milled around the school, helping the odd teacher that passed you and practising guitar to close of those few long hours. When school finally started, the roles were posted up on the wall, everybody who had auditioned came to see what role they got and as usual, the feelings ranged from disappointment to absolute ecstaticity but your mind wasn’t on that, your mind was on finding Kaoru and fixing all this but the second that long, gorgeous hair came into view, your stomach dropped and your heart sunk. Her face was pale, her eyes had dark rings around them and were a little bloodshot. People cleared the way as she non committedly looked over the board and shrugged, people tried to congratulate her but nothing really worked, she just walked away and then all eyes turned to you, knowing that it was clearly something between the two of you, instead of answering the barrage of questions being aimed towards you from all directions, you shot off in the direction that Kaoru did, only to lose her half way and give up, starting to take in the low mumblings and whispering that surrounded you.    
  
“Are they broken up?”    
“I heard Seta hit her!”   
“She wouldn’t hit her! If anything it would be Y/N that was gonna do that.”   
  
Your blood boiled and you saw red, you whipped your head around to address the accusers before that rumour got out of hand any further.   
  
“I didn’t hit Kaoru and she didn’t hit me, we had an argument because couples argue and that is all! Stay out of it!”    
  
Your voice tapered off at the end, aware of two things, one, you and just called yourself a couple and whilst it seemed a silly thing to be paranoid about, you felt that without word confirmation from Kaoru it was a little bit one sided and two, if that was reported, you would easily get a detention and then blow this whole thing so you needed to stay quiet. You walked off and towards your home room, English of all lessons was up so you had the time to relax a little and focus on what you were doing. As you walked in, it was already busy but she wasn't surrounded like she usually was and neither were you, the room could clearly tell that whatever was happening was severe and needed to be kept at a distance or be hit by the same rage that the girls earlier had. You made a beeline for Kaoru but just as though the heavens had it out for you (or more accurately hell) the lesson bell had rung and the teacher had everybody sit down, leaving you stood only a meter away from her, any closer and you could touch her, hold her and apologise until you lost your breath. All the other students were staring at you as you ever so slowly made your way over to your desk and sat down, never breaking contact from her incase she lifted her head, turned her head slowly or anything but nothing happened so the rest of the lesson was spent in a lulling silence, keeping you oddly calm, much like the calm before the storm. Drama lesson was just as dull and you found no escape in the usual theatrics that you can normally lose yourself in completely, another world where there were no worries and only words and tales as old as time to master in your lifetime. This however didnt seem to be the case for Kaoru as she was again in her element, you guessed she was used to the mask of her other side and it was nearly almost like the whole argument never happened, you just sat watching her in awe as usual, noticing the occasional glances you were receiving and feeling the shivers race down your spine each and every time your eyes met, the connection between you two uncomparable just both as stubborn and unwilling on the surface as each other. The teacher called for all of the romeo cast to be left behind in the room, the teacher shifting you slightly and giving you a knowing wink, making a clear indication that now is probably as best a time as any so you stood, inhaling as deep as possible when you did so and made your way over, wrapping your hand around Kaoru’s shoulder and turning her to face you, what your eyes first met were her own, the darkened wine red colour melted your heart but you couldn't tell in what way, in fear of hurting her or in lust? Then your eyes traveled across the features of her face and down to her lips, a little cracked and dried but that could be easily fixed, all you had to do was just match yours with her and-

 

“Y/N, what do you want?” Kaoru spoke low and almost fiercely at you. You froze, unsure of how to take the tone in her voice but determined to carry on, you hand moving subconsciencly to hold onto hers.

 

“I just, I- I wanted to apologise, I never meant to miss it and I-” 

 

“Kaoruuu!” Your speech was cut off by a bright eyed girl dressed in the Juliet outfit. Both of your heads turned towards her and Kaoru’s frown seemed to sink even lower and yours much more angled in anger. The girl wrapped her arms around Kaoru’s arm and dragged her off before you even got the chance to speak up, your fingers just grazing Kaoru’s palm before the space and the air around you fell empty again. You wanted to cry, you wanted to fall to the floor, cry and let the darkness envelop you but your teacher had other ideas and called you over to sit and watch in case anything Juliet related was needed. You had sat through two hours of crap, the girl playing Juliet was clearly much more interested in Kaoru than she was the play and didnt even know her lines which you shouted out when she couldn't be bothered to remember earning you some very impressed looks from your drama teacher. Eventually you had all reached the most dreaded scene and you couldn't decide if your heart wanted to stand up and protest like at a wedding when they ask if anybody knows the reason two people shouldn't get married or if you you should just hide behind your hands and hold your breath until it passed or you passed out. You chose the latter. So you sat with your hands in front of your face, head down and bright red but hopefully not visible to everyone else, you started to countdown the seconds that passed in your head, the words coming from stage and the numbers all intermingling into one with each passing second that set you deeper and deeper into despair. Around 25 seconds in, you noticed that it was only numbers that were being sounded and all words had ceased to sound in your world, you felt your stomach drop and your natural curiosity peaked, you slowly lowered your hands and looked up, worried that what you were about to see was your worst nightmare but instead you got Kaoru’s tall and slender figure stood in front of you making your heart leap and you leap from your chair backwards and tumbling to the floor quite theatrically so. All the other students laughed at you all except Juliet who had clearly just been rejected by Kaoru and was now stropping about it in the corner,  the teacher repressing a giggle in the corner and Kaoru just smirked, her eyes alight with joy which you haven't seen in what seems like forever but in reality was only two days. Two days too long. You took her outstretched hand and let yourself be practically carried onto the stage seen as your legs had decided to stop working now of all times. As soon as your feet touched the creaky wood of the stage and you were elevated up on the stage, your head started to turn, not knowing where you were meant to be or what lines were supposed to be said. Kaoru leaned towards your ear and whispered your line putting you in the right place but not before nibbling your earlobe a little, sending a hot flush through your body and a shiver of excitement straight to your centre in which you responded by slapping Kaoru on the arm in a playful telling off.

 

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.” 

 

“Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.” And as if nothing had even happened between the two of you, your lips met, warmth intermingling with each other and the taste of her lips reintroducing itself to you like it had been the first time but this was a hundred times sweeter.  You both moved against each other, chests pressing against each other, heaving and getting heavier each time your lips rejoined. The only thing that stopped this kiss scene turning much more than a kiss was the teacher coughing obviously, addressing that maybe you should stop and as much as you didnt want to, you both got the message and pulled apart, heads resting against each other and panting lightly.

 

“ Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged. ” Kaoru kept delivering her lines confusing your mind massively before excalming out loud and carrying on with the performance too. After everything was packed up and put away at about 7PM, you were quickly informed that you had taken over the main role of Juliet and now that the relationship was fixed or you think so? You could easily and freely play the role next to the beautiful and ever loving Romeo. The air was crisp outside the school and you looked up at the sky, a sunset mixture of reds, oranges and yellows painted the sky like a priceless work of art and you couldnt resist taking your phone out and snapping a picture which didnt do the actual view any justice so instead you just decided to be in the moment, next to Kaoru who was too admiring the view, but her view was you. Noticing the feeling of being watched, you turned your attention away from the sky and back at her, your eyes meeting and the sight of the sunset, swirling and mixing with her own deep red eyes made you lose breath at how stunning it really was. You made a mental note that you would have to get better at not staring so long and getting so lost in them but you let this one slide. 

 

“Y/N?, would you like to see my apartment?” The question left Kaoru’s mouth in a tone of nervousness and uncertainty which made you giggle to yourself. 

 

“And what would your intentions of that be?” A smirk raised on your lips, hoping to convey the fact that you were playing with her and show understanding all in one.

 

She stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide and face contorted into a confused sort of look, comparable mostly to a puppy that had no idea what was happening, if only she tilted her head a little, it would be perfect. Finally after five minutes of pure, point blank staring, she cracked a smile and nodded, her voice much more like velvet than before and there was that ear bite, maybe she was thinking that? You felt a panic surge through you and started to flail around a little but was suddenly halted by strong and particularly soft hands wrapping around your waist and pulling you in close.

 

“I have an old neighbour who gets annoyed by loud noises so I’m not sure if that would be the best for now but... w-we could eventually I-if that’s something… you want? The sentence that had started out so strong had evolved into a shy, stumbling mess with a bright red blush all over her face, a sort of glassy tint to her eyes that would scream lust and want if it wasn't for the shy exterior that came with it. 

 

You smiled and kissed her quickly on the lips before grabbing her hand and pulling her through the street, then realising you had no idea where her apartment was and let her lead.


	12. START OF A NEW PAST

Her apartment was as stunning as you had imagined! In an amongst you both talking about everything and nothing, you had day dreamed and mapped out what you thought it would look like and honestly, you werent far off. Her apartment wasn't the biggest, it was far from it but she made it a home for herself and it was filled with everything you would expect from her. The room was slick, bachelor style almost, the surfaces were black, contrasting with the pure white walls that were obviously kept clean in case she had anybody around, hints of grey on things like the sofa rounding off the whole look perfectly. Splashes of colour added personality to the room and most of those splashes of colour were either purple or red which you couldn't tell if that was self loving or just her favourite colour but to you it didnt matter because they were your favourites and every time you saw something it reminded you of the girl in front of you, proudly showing you through her living room and kitchen, offering you a drink or some food to which you politely declined. She was clearly nervous so you wanted to make this as easy as possible for her, not wanting to add any extra routine to what was probably already stressful for her. You reached the door that lead to her bedroom and when she opened it, you were taken away with how large it was. It made the rest of the apartment look miniature and whilst the room probably wasn't as big as it was made out to be, she managed to move the room brilliantly. The first thing you saw was the bed in the middle, large covers elegantly draped over the side and one corner open neatly just inviting you in, on the bed posts were various trinkets that you could only assume came from outfits with her band, things like a masquerade mask, a spare guitar strap, a gold encrusted collar clip and small pink teddy bear with a strap on the back dressed in a white dress, there were quite a few of those pink teddies all dressed in different outfits scattered around the room but you just smiled at them, you had no idea what they were but they were cute and it was also another little quirk to the girl that you just kept on learning about. Your heart pounded at finding out this little fact and you couldn't help but run up to Kaoru and hug her from behind, making her jump quite obviously before she relaxed, turned around in your tightly gripped arms and wrapped her own arms around you. You let out a soft breath and just enjoyed being held for a minute, heart beats intermingling and if you could see them, you would probably see a soft glow around each one, both the same colour joining as one. Kaoru was the first to pull away and take your hand, placed a soft chaste kiss to the back of your fingers and took you over to the balcony where a huge telescope laid pointing towards the sky, Kaoru bent down and fiddled with some buttons before signaling you over and letting you look through the eyepiece, her soft hands wrapping around your waist and keeping you steady whilst you stared in awe at the constellations and how clear and easy to see they were. 

 

“That one you're looking at now, that's the constellation of love.” Kaoru’s velvet voice in your ear sent shivers down your spine as you came to stand back up in the small space between the two of you. 

 

“Oh yeah? And what are they called?” You asked back feeling cocky and immune to Kaoru’s charm right now. Which you absolutely were not. 

 

“Altair and Vega, it’s a constellation with a story about a weaver girl and a female cow herder who fell in love. The weaver girl’s parents weren’t happy about the relationship and the more time the two spent together, the more her parents objected.” Kaoru finished with a heavy hearted sigh  which caught your attention but when your eyes spoke asking if everything was okay, she just glimmered back with a smile that lit up her eyes and answered you back confirming her answer. The air felt calm as you went to sit on the edge of the bed and felt the silk covers glide under your fingertips, it felt like luxury and you                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          wondered how she managed to make all this look so fancy with such little money and on her own. Kaoru broke you out of your day dream when she came and sat down next to you and started fiddling with her hands, a nervous expression racing across her face as she wondered what she should do now or the next move to make, you smiled inwardly at her, thinking how cute this was of her and grabbed onto her own hand, turning her towards you and planting a soft, quick kiss on her lips, both of your eyes wide for a second before they became half lidded and met with Kaoru’s once again, she had leaned down to reciprocate and you were more than willing to comply. Your lips against her own felt like heaven, each time you kissed her it felt like the first time all over again and that was an incomparable feeling, this kiss however started to get a lot more heated and you felt the passion between you become more and more sexual. Kaoru’s tongue slipped out of her mouth and grazed the bottom of your lip, asking permission for entrance which you maybe too eagerly gave. A moan left your throat as her tongue grazed across yours for the first time and it felt so good, your tastes intermingled with each other and it was like liquid gold, you heard Kaoru moan as you bit down on her bottom lip and pulled away dragging it with you before letting go and it snapped back, Kaoru’s body jolted at the contact then without any sort of hesitation or nervousness, grabbed onto your shoulders and pushed you backwards onto the bed, her body falling on top of yours and your lips once again meeting, your body craving hers ever since they left in those few seconds, you couldn't cope then, god knows how you were going to cope at school. Hot breath intermingling with each other as you stared into each others eyes and let the situation surround you both, you wrapped your arms around her neck and let your hands rake through her ponytail until you had an idea and moved towards the bobble in her hair and let it slide out, the purple locks cascading down her body, wrapping around her shoulders and framing her face like the most beautiful piece of art you've ever seen. A hot flush raced across her checks at your sudden bold movement and she sat up straddling your hips, her face turned to the side trying to hide how vulnerable she was feeling. You sat up and traced your fingers along the features of her face and every few seconds, running your fingers through her hair until Kaoru became more comfortable and looked you in the eyes.

 

“You look beautiful you know, I know it's not what you're used to but its just as stunning as you normally are.” You traced over her ear and she leaned into your embrace, neither of you feeling the need to say anything but just to be in the company of one another. 

 

After five minutes or so, Kaoru decided that she was going to surprise you with a bridal hold and carry you into her living room where she gently placed you on her sofa and then climbed behind, wrapping her free hand over your stomach and her other, under your head. You learnt that Kaoru takes a liking to cartoons despite her mature and sophisticated appearance on the outside so as you slowly fell asleep to aggretsuko, you felt as though nothing was going to shatter the two of you and this is the kind of life you could live forever. 

 

Kaoru looked down at you and noticed the steady breathing and slow rise and fall of your chest and took it as a sign you were asleep, her hand reached up to your face and held you on the cheek for a few minutes, watching how each distinct feature on your face sometimes twitches due to your dreams or the small puffing noises that came out with each breath. Kaoru’s chest swelled, her heart grew at least three sizes if that was humanly possible and the overwhelming sense of love and pride that hit her was like a tsunami of emotions. She slowly lifted your head up, slid her arm out from underneath you and got off of the sofa, careful not to disturb you, she then made her way over to a storage cupboard and pulled out a blanket, hand made with colours of purple, blue, pink and blacks all swirling to make a beautiful pattern. She draped it over your sleeping body and tucked it in, watching as you subconsciously snuggled down and made a happy sort of gurgle in the back of your throat, Kaoru fought herself to keep a giggle down but instead made her way over to the bookcase and pulled out Romeo and Juliet, grabbing her phone on the way to the balcony and dialing the number on the small, crumpled up piece of paper sticking out of the top of the book and held the phone to her ears. The wind was bitter and seemed to sting as the dial tone rung in her ear, again and again until the person on the other end picked up.

 

“Hello?” The voice was so foreign but yet so familiar. “Hello?” The female's voice high pitched showing signs of irritation. Another second past before Kaoru finally spoke up.

 

“Hi… Mum… It's me.” Kaoru voice was thin and full of nerves. The woman’s voice was small, mousy and quite in reply. “Yeah, I-I um I want you to meet somebody.” Kaoru looked behind her shoulder at you, blissfully unaware of what was happening and what was about to unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cant believe this has surpassed 30 kudos! I know that doesn't seem like a lot but I was really worried this wouldn't take off so thank you everyone who has read it and supporting me and I hope you continue to :D


	13. MOMENTS LIKE THIS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mother perspective paragraph at the beginning in case any of you are confused :)

It had been four years since Kaoru had left the house and had not been seen ever since then, all except when she was on the news with four other girls for performing some sort of music to local children in the hospital. She had grown so tall, her style had evolved and she looked beautiful, the perfect picture child and she was her daughter. Everyday she remembers that day, the admission, the packing, the chasing after her and how her little eyes looked so sad and so betrayed but so full of power and confidence because this is who she was and she was ready to face the world even if they didnt want her in it. It was when she received the phone call that it all came flashing back, each memory in detail and hearing her voice, the deepness of it reminded her exactly of how she was at her age; charming, popular and dramatic. Eighteen was such a young age but the nature of the phone call was one that shocked her more than anything. She wanted her to meet somebody?  _ I mean it had to be a girl didnt it? _ But does she not remember years ago? Her daughter's voice was stilled and waiting so she knew she needed to answer or else lose this chance for who knows how long.

 

“Oh Kaoru, yeah of course, I um-”

 

“Asahi who is it?” She was interrupted by her husband’s loud, obnoxious voice coming from the background, clearly still the controlling Father he had always been.

 

Her voice became soft and mousy as she finished off the phone call with her daughter and hung up, turning her attention towards her husband to explain that it was just the tax man to which he snorted and skulked back towards the study. Asahi pressed a few buttons on her phone and saved Kaoru’s number in her contacts before smiling a little and letting a warm feeling take over her chest. Her daughter, her pride and joy, the centre of her life and the whole reason she has felt this way for years, finally wanted to talk to her, now just a question of her Father.

 

You woke up in a room that was foreign to you, the crisp white walls making your freshly opened eyes shut again in repulse. A feeling of panic raced through you until you felt a pair of arms wrapped around your body, soft purple hair tickling the back of your neck and your slightly exposed chest and soft snores right in your ear. You smiled as wide as your body would allow you and turned onto your side, gently rubbing your thumb up and down on her cheek until her eyes blinked open just a little bit and a smile of happiness and curiosity shone on her face like the sun rising up in the sky. You couldn’t help but idolly stare at her for a minute as the sun coming through the blinds made little patterns that danced all over her and made her look just that little bit more stunning  _ if that was even possible _ . 

 

“Good morning my sweet princess, is it time for school already or could you just not wait for me to awaken? My how impatient you are.” Her hand flourished up in the air with a small chuckle before looking you back in the eyes realising that it was you that she was with and so she lowered her hand, a soft smile glazed her lips and her eyes softened, you found the change in her personality almost alien but you couldn't help but melt at the fact that her true feelings, the none shakespeare act was aimed at you. 

“Yeah it’s time to get up, I hate it but yeah.” You let out a long sigh realising the fact yourself.

 

“Ah yes, um Y/N, can I tell you something before we get ready?” Kaoru looked very nervous at this sudden exclamation but you sat patiently, waiting to see what this was. Somewhere in the back of your mind you couldn't help but panic, thinking that maybe just as this was getting good, it could all crash and burn, that maybe last night wasn't what she wanted it to be and now she wanted to leave but the words that left her mouth were very very different.

 

“I called my Mother last night and I would like- I- if you want!.. To meet her.” Kaoru seemed to cringe at herself but you just watched her, watching how her expressions ranged from scared, to nervous and straight to curiosity considering you hadn't answered her yet.

 

Realising it yourself, you jumped your mind back into action and nodded your head, for some reason it didnt seem appropriate to use words so you just gave her the silent confirmation and Kaoru looked honestly shocked, you giggled at the expression and lunged towards her to hug her close, she was trembling a little but she soon calmed down with you there, creating slow circular motions across her chest and your palm felt her heartbeat. It was like the most beautiful melody you had ever heard and without it, you think you would be lost. Lost in the hold, you hadn't realised that you had been there an extra thirty minutes and when you looked at the alarm clock that flashed the time 8:45AM at the both of you, a straight bolt of fear cast itself down your spine, you pushed yourself off of her chest hearing a small grunt come from Kaoru and jumped out of bed, picking up your school uniform off of the floor and pulling down the clothes that you had borrowed from Kaoru that night to sleep in. Kaoru’s eyes became glassy with confusion and a slight feeling of lust, seeing your body for the first time, you turned to her wondering why she wasnt getting ready and saw her eyes tracing your figure, your cheeks burnt bright red with embarrassment and you attempted to cover yourself with your uniform, unsuccessfully and not remembering that you could just put it on, your fists closing around the clothes tighter as she raised herself out of bed in just a tshirt and a pair of boxer shorts to which your eyes did just the same thing. She let a low laugh out of her throat and wrapped her arms around your waist, littering your shoulder and back of neck with light pecking kisses which could have made you melt into a puddle at any moment if she let go.  _ Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to be late for school if this is how you were treated.  _ How wrong you were as your lungs burnt and your head sweated as you ran along aside Kaoru through the busy city to get to school, by the time you got there the president was at the door handing out detention slips to which you both begrudgingly took. The walk into the classroom was even worse as all eyes turned to the both of you, ranging from serious to smirks of knowing particularly from Lisa lmai who made a whooping noise in the background making the rest of the classroom laugh all except the teacher who just pointed you both to your seats. Whilst the rest of the classroom got on with the Maths exam that you had completely neglected and forgotten about, you couldn't help but wonder what Kaoru’s Mother would be like? Would she look like her? Would she be as tall and as pretty as Kaoru? You thought on that possibility for a second and you figured that you might actually pass out if there was two of them there, a smile lifted onto your lips which was swiftly knocked off as a ball of paper flew at the back of your head and your instinctiveness kicked it, almost shouting at the top of your voice but quickly remembering that a test was happening and that you would fail by being kicked out if you did that rather than just failing with trying, you would rather go down fighting than nothing. You picked up the scrunched up ball of paper and opened it as quietly as you could to see crude handwriting that read-

 

‘So did you and Kaoru have sex?’ Your heart stopped and you looked around wondering who just sent it but nobody even had their heads out of the test so you crumpled it back up and put it in the bin then concentrated on your paper. When the dismissal bell finally rang you let out a sigh of relief, only just signing off your test and shutting it in time. You shot a glance over at Kaoru who winked at you and mouthed “how did you do?” to which you heard two squeals in the background. You giggled and ran your hand across your throat which made the two of you laugh and then Kaoru held up a piece of paper which had the exact same thing as yours on it, your eyes widened and you moved around trying to get across that you got the exact same note. Kaoru and a few other people who were watching looked incredibly confused but eventually giving up, you just ran over to her loudly whispering that you got the same note before running back to your seat hoping the teacher hadn't noticed which to your unfortunate luck didnt go unnoticed but instead she held the note in her hand, it having landed on the floor next to the bin rather than in the bin and read it aloud, capturing the whole rooms attention and mortifying you in the process. Kaoru stood next to you and rubbed your hand, deadlocking her view with the teacher as she eventually just sighed and threw it in the bin. Whispers started circulating around the room and you felt your body temperature rise, really wanting to shout at the top of your lungs that there was nothing wrong with the two of you being in a relationship and even though you didnt have sex, why would it be so bad if you did? Kaoru gazed down at you with soft sympathetic eyes, knowing that you were getting angry and willing you mentally to calm down to which eventually you did, burying your face in her chest and wrapping your arms around her waist. 

 

“Hey! No contact, this is a school not a love hotel.”

 

“That’s really unlucky.”

 

“Fuck, so they did last night!”

 

The whisperings were getting louder and louder, all whirling around in your head and your white knuckled grip was starting to dig into your palms making a small sting spread through your hands and arms. The flood gates opened and you let it go, not knowing what else to do, you ran, you don’t know where or for how long but you ended up in the toilets of the first years school sector and locked yourself in a stall. You were aware of Kaoru’s voice in the background but its blurred the heavier you cried and the harder you ran, a voice called you out and you didnt answer until a knock came on the door and you had no choice but to answer. The girl on the other side had long red hair about the same length of Kaoru’s and bright blue eyes.

 

“Hey I’m Udagawa, are you okay?” She reached out to grab your arm but you flinched away, she held her hands up in apology and stepped back a little. You gestured to her that it was just your fault and she had no need to worry, you cleared your throat hoping that you could make yourself seem as together as possible.

 

“Hi Udagawa, sorry I didnt mean to flinch I just, i'm just dealing with something is all. Can i ask, have you seen Kaor… Um Seta sorry.” And just as if she had heard you herself, Kaoru burst through the door, gasping hard for breath and her posture slumped with her arm resting against the door frame for balance, looking upwards she moved straight for you and wrapped you in her arms. 

 

“Please don't do that again, you scared the hell out of me.” Kaoru whispered into your ear which burnt with the contact of her hot breath.

 

You returned the hold and shook, letting yourself be cradled into calmness. When you had eventually calmed down and returned to a normal state of mind, you turned around to face Udagawa who was stood smiling at you both, you lifted your hand to introduce her to Kaoru but they both started talking before you could even get a word in edgeways.

 

“Hi Kaoru.” Udagawa smiled at her which Kaoru happily returned.

 

“Ah Tomoe! How are you? I hope Afterglow has been keeping a fellow prince such as yourself very busy ” She nodded “Thank you for getting her, I was starting to become elated by the sudden movement.” Kaoru’s grip on you got tighter which made you feel warm and protected… wanted.

 

“Ahaha it’s okay, so I assume this is who I keep hearing about?” Tomoe’s eyes glared at you and you hid away, not sure of how to act under her glare. 

 

“It is! My, class 2A is giving her a hard time so my sweet here had to leave, thankfully you found her and not somebody who would have worsened the situation.” Kaoru’s hand gestures started up making a tight fist level to her face in an expression of anger. 

 

Tomoe laughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck, all three of you needing to get back to what you were doing. Tomoe briefly introduced herself to you and explained that they had both met because of their bands to which you let out a noise of understanding, you had been wondering how they knew each other but now it made sense. All of you separated from each other with a quick wave, a goodbye and a promise to listen to Afterglow’s music before heading back to your respectable classrooms. When you reached the room Kaoru stopped you outside, holding you at arms length by the shoulders.

 

“Listen, they won’t do it again okay, Im here for you and I know in your last school they all bullied you and you were alone but your not now, I’m here and Tomoe too apparently in case you have a run in with a first year.” Kaoru giggled at herself. “You don't have to run anymore.” 

 

Your heart pounded a thousand times a second, her soft smile melting you down to nothing but the core, the walls you had put up for all those years were broken down with this one girl, you had never met anybody who could do this but right now, as her eyes met your own, you could let it all out on display and she would treat each piece of you like fine china, like something that is worth looking after and that made you feel irreplaceable, you giggled briefly to yourself thinking that if there was wind around you both, she would have been flowing so elegantly that everybody in a ten mile radius would have fainted. Kaoru let her hands slip loose from your shoulders and pushed the doors open for you to walk in. When you entered the entire room was quiet, some people were avoiding your gaze and others who were stood bowed down in apology. Kaoru stood behind you, noticeably taller than usual and much more puffed out, all you could imagine is that Kaoru had spoken to the class and told them what was wrong. Many spoke to you and apologized many times especially Lisa who came up to you personally and apologized for the note. You reassured her that it was okay and that it was just teenage play to which you would have laughed at had it not have been read aloud. Lisa gave you a short smile before heading back to talk with her group of friends who all smiled at the both of you. You turned to her and a swift “thank you” left your mouth before you did anything else, it probably didn't seem like much but those small moments, ones where you are that irreplaceable treasure, meant more than the world to you and her.


	14. PERFECTLY IMPERFECT LOVE

Kaoru had been frustrated these last few days, her temper had been short and snappy, her behaviour had been one that was extremely out of character for her and her social ability had been fifty percent less than that it usually is. Many people, specifically girls, had been trying and failing to garner her attention, earning either a small “I’m fine my little kitten” or simply nothing at all. You had tried to talk about it with her but she seemed to want to keep it private so instead you settled for small hugs and cheek kisses whenever she needed them. The further the week got on, the more stressed she became and the more she was on her phone, you knew that it was nothing new, the social butterfly that Kaoru was meant she was almost always replying to somebody but your mind couldn't help but race to all of the worst possibilities. You raked your mind for any events that may have been happening lately but nothing came to mind, you felt a pang of helplessness deep in your stomach and it almost made you wretch, Kaoru no matter the situation, would always find the solution or at least some sort of aid but you werent like her and that made you feel worse so as you walked through the corridor of the school, head low in disappointment, you felt lost, directionless almost so you decided that since you had no classes, you would go up to the roof of the school, a little alone time might do you some good, let you clear up your own mind before you tried to help clear Kaoru’s. Yeah, that was a good idea, you nodded to yourself and started walking with a little more confidence in your step, confusing most of the students you walked past but you didnt care, you had a plan and it was going to work. You threw open the doors, both at once and stepped out, inhaling the fresh air around you, letting it surround you and making you feel invigorated. You stepped towards the edge of the roof and leaned your arms against the railings, looking down upon the school and the city surrounding it for a few miles either way, it made you feel a little bit odd, like you wanted to leave, explore the city and what it had to offer but you couldn't, you were unsure exactly why you felt this way but you shook it off, not letting the process of being clear in your mind be interrupted. Closing your eyes, you let your mind wonder, the first thing that came into your head was those bright red eyes, shining at you like nothing you had ever seen before, like the stars in the night sky but this one shined for you only and you only, you felt your mouth tinge upwards, a smile curving itself onto your lips but the more you focused on that smile and the separation from your dream world and reality, the more you heard a small whimpering noise come from the other side of the roof behind the ventilation system and the more you couldn't ignore it. Bringing yourself back down to Earth with more than a little protest, you slowly and quietly made your way over to the source of the noise, you could see the body of somebody curled up and jolting slightly with each of your footsteps so you clearly werent being as quiet as you think you were. You rolled your eyes and carried on normally, placing your hand on the vent and peering around the corner, the sight held you imobile for a few seconds. Kaoru was sat, head resting in between her arms and legs curled up to her chest, quivering in fright? Cold? Anger? It didnt matter, her phone was halfway across the roof away from her and her pearl necklace was clutched in her hand, dangling haphazardly from her grip, almost like she was trying to let it go but she couldn't. Her purple hair was down and blowing in the breeze, a tangled and thrown about mess that you had never known. Your head finally decided to kick back into action and you ran over, immediately taking her in your arms and holding her, trying and failing to coax her arms out of their strangled hold against herself, your mouth opened and closed, trying anything you could to speak but no words could come out so instead you just did what you do best, you just held her, letting her figure sink into you, waiting for her to open up herself. In this moment of quiet you thought back to how all this time she had been watching for  _ you _ , looking out and caring for  _ you _ but had never asked for it in return, you just knew it as her nature and of course you knew that she could be upset but you had been selfish about it and now she felt she could only cry to herself at times like this.

 

“Kaoru, please talk to me.” You finally let out what you needed, even though it was met with no response. 

 

You ran your hands over her arms and noticed that she had goosebumps all over her, you even started to notice small almost invisible patches of blue across her body so you focused on that before trying to find out what was happening. You took the coat you were wearing off of yourself, the cold, biting air hitting you almost instantly making a large shiver run through your spine, you had no idea how long Kaoru had been out here but you noticed how her body loosened up and curled up in the coats warmth as you draped it over her shoulders and fastened it around her body, it was a small way of her showing her appreciation at you even if you couldn't see her and you felt a small glow of satisfaction from seeing her ease up even if it was just a little. You sat like that for so long you had lost track of it all, you huddled over her, wrapping her in as much warmth and security as possible and she sat lowly, balancing on the verge of breaking down all she has and keeping that guard up with all the strength she could muster. You sat wondering whether you should talk again, try and find another way around what was wrong but you didnt need to because at that moment, a low and gravelly voice came out of Kaoru’s throat which both scared and elated you all at once. 

 

“How?” She sounded unwell, like if she stared at you right now, she would look empty. You started to panic and attempted to lift her face but she blatantly refused so instead you sat next to her and held her to your side, whispering softly back to her.

 

“How what? Please help me understand Kaoru” Your pleas sounded desperate and pushy but that is exactly how you felt.

 

“How am I meant to be a good person if I can't even be a good daughter to the person who is supposed to love me no matter what?” Her voice became shakier as she went on, coughing to fight back her fear and anguish. 

 

Your heart dropped, the sudden understanding hit you like a bolt of lightning and you wanted to hit yourself for being so blind, it was Friday and tomorrow she would be meeting her Mother for the first time in four years, she had been fearful all week and to no shock. You let a soft “Oh my god” leave your lips and then that was it, her body doubled over and shook for only a second longer before patches of wet started to appear on your coat, running from the hidden features of her face to a small drop on the floor, you instantly held her closer and gripped her like she would disappear if you held her any looser, her head curled up on your shoulder and her voice cracked, trying to let words escape her mouth but it all came out as gibberish. When you got her to calm down you tried to break this down, if you could do anything, you could give her confidence even if she did seem to have endless amounts of it in front of everybody else, you knew her for who she really was and you wanted to give her as much as possible going into this.

 

“Kaoru, you are a good daughter, I know it’s hard to believe with what happened but you do-”

 

“How? How can you say that Y/N? If I was they wouldn't have left me so now they want me back, why? So I can be abused again? So I can be a thing to distract them from their shitty marriage?” You were interrupted by Kaoru’s voice that reached up ten times louder than before, her bloodshot and red tearstained eyes meeting your own making your breath catch in your throat and your own eyes starting to water, she looked so mad, so raw and so emotional that you wouldn't recognise her from the girl everybody else sees. 

 

You wanted to shout back, you wanted to tell her that she was worth all she could dream of and more regardless of what her parents told her but her voice was louder than anything you could do, the voices of her past and its effects were all whirling around in her head blocking out everything you were trying to say and making her harder to break against, but you wouldn’t give up so easily much to Kaoru’s frustration and relief somewhere deep down. 

 

“How am I supposed to be the prince if I can’t even save myself?” Her voice was quiet and undertoned, like a note that had gone bad. 

 

You hadn’t meant to let it get to you, you wanted and needed to stay calm but something in that sentence drove you wild and you needed to let it out and if it was ever going to get into her head, now would be the time. 

 

“You’re not the prince, you are Kaoru Seta! You're a beautiful, shy girl who has so much care and love for everybody she meets that you can’t contain it all. You’re a girl who’s afraid of heights and who’s favourite food is miso soup and rice cakes not whatever it is however you pronounce it.” Kaoru opened her mouth to correct you but you kept going. “You’re the girl who is the world's messiest sleeper despite your gracefulness when you wake up and you’re the girl that so many look up to, not because of your princely manners but because you’re strong, you’re open and you’re proud. Who cares what your parents think because they don’t know you for the true perfection you really are! I love you Kaoru and If you put your mask down, even if it’s just for me, then at least it’s something… please.” Your words trailed off either from running out of energy or having found your natural stopping point, your chest heaving up and down in a rhythmic flow of passion that became jagged as soon as she stood up.

 

She was looking at you with a look you had never seen before, her sadness and self hatred seemed to have melted away, it seems to have been stripped at the walls and now all that was left was her, bare and open for you to look at. Of course her intense stare was too much to handle so you immediately shrunk away, glaring straight down at the floor mumbling to yourself but loud enough so you could be heard. 

 

“I’m not saying you can’t be the prince, just... give yourself a break every once in a while, around me.” The tips of your index fingers taped together in a show of shyness and embarrassment until your head was lifted by her index and thumb fingers so you were now eye to eye with her. Your heart beat increased at an alarming rate and your hands snaked around her waist, holding her coat covered body close to your own, you stayed like that for a few seconds before Kaoru finally spoke. 

 

“You… lo-love me?” Kaoru’s words stumbled and for good reason. Your eyes went wide and your mouth became dry, not realising that what you had said only a few moments ago. Of course you love her but it was embarrassing to simply just blurt it out like that, without proper thought or planning so you tried to break away but her grip only became tighter and you could only surrender to the grasp of the girl in front of you. Letting out a small “yes” that was surrounded by bright red blush and self cringing, you hid your face in between her neck and her shoulder and let out a stream of noises that were of questionable intention. 

 

“I-i love yo-you too Y/N” Kaoru impossibly turned a shade darker than yourself and you let out a little giggle, you reached out of the safe area to look at the mess you both were, stood on the roof of the school confessing what has been obvious to you both since that day you met again in the recording studio, hair flowing in the breeze making it all tangled and tear tracks larger than rivers falling down your faces, covering and healing over earlier damage that was previously the world breaking down and to round it off as if somebody was watching over the both of you, rain drops started to fall and soon became heavier with quick succession soaking the both of you, Kaoru’s fringe covering half her face and hiding the scowl underneath until you flipped it all back and hid the both of you under your coat wrapped around her body. 

 

“You know, we’re not perfect on our own but for each other, no matter the situation, we’re perfect for each other.” Your voice dripped love and it could clearly be heard by Kaoru who just smiled and leaned forward, joining your lips together for the first time this week. 

 

“I think… I think I’m gonna be okay tomorrow” Kaoru lifted up her necklace which was draped around her wrist and gave it to you, running the pearls through your hand one at a time before you bent her down and clicked it back into place around her neck, a silent clarification and support statement all at once rounded off with a long lasting kiss, tears of joy intertwining as one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mother and Daughter chapter next! I'm so nervous haha


	15. PREDICTIONS OF THE FURURE

The morning of the meeting was here and you woke up in your bed, a cold sweat on your body and eyes wide with panic, you had only managed to close them a few hours prior to waking up and even then, it was light and very broken, you and no idea how Kaoru had slept. The first thing you did when your alarm rang shrill in your ears was fly out of bed with as much energy as you could, get dressed in the first thing you saw which happened to be a plain black pair of tracksuit bottoms and one of Kaoru’s t shirts and get out of the door, with that checked and sorted, you ran as fast as your legs, still half asleep, could carry you and within ten minutes you were outside her apartment door but not before, in your state of panic, you stopped two doors down from her own, confused as to why nobody answered until a bob of grey hair loitered outside a window and shouted at you to get away from her. Your face flushed red and you stepped away, looking to your right and seeing the familiar looking door staring you straight in the face. Now outside her door, you clenched your fists hoping that this was the correct apartment and knocked as hard as possible, hoping to catch her attention even if she was at the other side of the building and sure enough within a few seconds, she answered the door, a strained look on her face, hair disheveled like she had just rolled out of bed and shirt half on with a tie hanging loose around her neck. Her featured softened when she saw you and stepped aside to let you in, smiling as you walked through the door and flung your arms around her, holding her close in an embrace that she looked like she had needed all morning, she was quivering and sweat was glistening on her chest a little, you couldn't help but stare for a few moments before shaking your head clear and reminding yourself of what was important today. Within the next couple of hours you had managed to push Kaoru into the shower, get her dressed up in a suit and having the age old argument of  _ ‘which tie goes with this shirt?’  _ to which you ended with black tie and white shirt, much like her normal everyday outfit making you both burst into a fit of giggles and you prepared a large breakfast for the both of you in which Kaoru went shopping for the night before at apparently 11PM. When all was settled and you were watching Kaoru play with her food to which she would usually wolf it down, you reached across the table and grasped at her hand, unwinding it from her gripped position and rubbed your thumb up and down her own, trying to calm her down in any way possible, all that could be heard was the ticking down of the clock getting slower and slower the more you waited for the fated time, you hated to feel this way, unable to help but to console her, you had offered to go visit with her for the first time but she had insisted that you would be too much of a shock and that she needed to see her on her own first before putting you in any danger. Your heart fluttered when she had mentioned that that was the reason she hadn't wanted you to go, up on the cold, windy rooftop but it also fluttered with guilt because of your inability to become more for her, to stand up for her in this time which she had calmly reassured you was nothing to feel guilty for, yet somewhere deep down you did. Your eyes became glassy remembering the feeling, letting it sunk further into your stomach so you got up with courage and confidence tingling on your lips and walked around to meet Kaoru sat on her stool, you grabbed her face and turned it towards you, you took a quick glance at her beautiful eyes, so full of fear yet so perfect even in this state and then crashed your lips upon her own, giving her everything you could through this as a final attempt to help her, the gasp that came from her throat was always a sound that made you smile into your kisses and this was no exception, when her lips started to reciprocate your movements, she too smiled into the kiss, pulling you both apart for seconds at a time, breathing a small “sorry” each and every time. Before long you were both in a flurry of hands and lips, you had moved to straddle her legs just to feel that little bit closer and she had gladly accepted, wrapping her hands around your waist to keep you in place, soft pants and starting moans now filled the little space between you as she started to make her way down your face, planting chaste kisses down your cheek, along your jawline and across your collarbone, both your bodies started emitting heats that neither of you had felt before, tingling in every single part of your body sending electric bolts through you both, sparks between your bodies every time they touched that could set alight to anything it came in contact with. The only thing that broke the two of you apart was the little alarm sound that went off on Kaoru’s watch to which you both barely took notice of, only just pulling yourself apart from one another, Kaoru let out a heavy sigh and turned the alarm off, the numbers 12:15 flashing in both of your faces and both of you knew exactly what it meant. With a heavy heart you got off of her lap and let her free, her body was unmoving and still for few moments before actually setting into place, you gave her your hand and practically dragged her to the door, her body becoming heavier and heavier the more steps were taken until you were both at the door, neither of you knew how to approach this so you took the plunge, opening the door for her figuring she wouldn't herself and gave her one last hug to which she squeezed you harder than she ever had in return, from what you were unsure but you matched it just to make sure she knew you felt the same way. 

 

“You're gonna be okay, I promise.” You sighed as you pulled away, keeping her at bent arms length from you to see her face. “And I’m just a phone call away if anything happens.” 

 

Kaoru smiled at you silently, tired eyes wrinkling up in the corners and at the bottom, it was a smile from her heart and that's all you needed to see. A quick release of her hand from your own and then she was gone, her beautiful suit clad body walking away in her most fake confident walk was the last thing you saw before shutting the door. Now she was alone, you let out a long, hard breath and shut your eyes, resting your head against the door and scrunching your eyes up a little, praying with all you had that she would be okay.

 

Kaoru’s footsteps clashed against the concrete floor, each time making her feel more queezier than the footstep before, she twisted the necklace around her in her fingers and squeezed hard hoping that it worked like it had all the times before, telling her Mother in some sort of way that she was nervous and the most fragile feeling she had been in a while. Her suit felt uncomfortable, suffocating almost and she had no choice but to bear it, keep her head held high and show her Mother that she had become a well made, young woman who is successful in all that she does and she has done it all on her own and all whilst being herself  _ even though that was not always true.  _ Kaoru checked her phone to see if you had messaged her and smiled a small, brief smile when she saw a simple “I love you” on her screen, she decided to keep it there and notz\ remove the notification until it was all over and done. The cafe was in sight and her heart beated a lot faster than she had previously thought possible, her stomach twisted into a knot and her knees became weak, she held onto the wall next to her for balance for a moment and wiped sweat away from her forehead with the back of her hand, careful not to run the make up she had laid on her face this morning, she quickly checked her pockets before setting off again and the cafe seemed to become further with each step though in reality she was by the entrance, filling in her reservation.

 

“And the name please” Kaoru jolted at the waitresses voice but answered with a shaky voice. 

 

“Oh, uh Seta- Um Kaoru and Asahi.” Kaoru cringed at the name but swallowed her pride. 

 

The waitress nodded with a smile and gestured for her to come with her, straight to a small table that was away from the rest of the people in the cafe. Kaoru had figured before she left that her Mother would rent out a private corner, it was a big event after all and somewhere deep down, Kaoru really appreciated it. She pulled back the chair that created an unpleasant squeak against the floor and her shoulders hunched over as she sat down, ordered some roasted green tea and sat hunched like that for a few more minutes before relaxing a little when she was clasping tea in her hand and sipping it gently. Time seemed to move slower again and Kaoru tried with all she could to keep herself composed, checking every single social media app she had, playing games and sending you a barrage of messages one after the other. She had just started to calm down when she heard a voice that rung true in her head come from only a few meters behind her. 

 

“Kaoru?” The voice was frail but still as confident as always. 

 

Kaoru turned around in her seat and there she was, her throat closed up and her breath became ragged, she raced out of her seat to stand up and bowed down towards her Mother. She heard a little laugh under her breath and relaxed from her position, sitting back down when her Mother was opposite her and removed her sunglasses, letting the full extent of her facial features be revealed. Her purple hair was a little faded with streaks of grey that she never remembered as a young child though not one hair was out of its place and her red eyes, surrounded by slight wrinkles had become dampened by the tides of time. Her smile was as bright as she remembered but she could see the fact that it was surgically altered to keep it that way and her clothing was still the same, much like her own but with a more feminine twist to herself. Her eyes constantly going over her body again and again trying to take everything in had lasted ten minutes with no words between the two of them making the air awkward or more awkward than before, her Mother was the first to speak feeling the need to fill the space and start to try and reverse the damage done all those years ago. 

 

“How are you?” Her voice was barely noticable and Kaoru had to really listen to pick up what she was saying.

 

“I’m good, I’m yeah, I’m really good actually.” Kaoru’s voice was a little louder than she had meant it to be. 

 

She sat her body up and puffed her chest out, she felt a little stupid doing so but she had to prove that she was good and not shitting herself like she really was. Her Mother smirked at her daughter, she knew exactly how she felt because she felt the same way just with more experience, such a show was typical of herself so she could only expect her daughter to do the same, she was the spitting image of her after all, both in looks and personality. She knew both of them could sit all day and be like this, empty questions and one word answers but she didnt want that so she wanted to get straight to the point.

 

“Look let’s get this out of the way and address what’s really going between us. I want to fix this and I know it won't be as easy as 1, 2, 3 but I re- really wish we can. Do you… feel the same way?” Asahi held out her hand across the table towards Kaoru. 

 

Her voice broke in the same, shy way that Kaoru’s did when she was nervous herself and she couldn't help but feel her heart pound through her chest at the offering her Mother was laying out in front of her. Her arms were crossed tightly against her chest but she could feel them loosen with each and every passing second, Kaoru cursed herself in her mind for being so weak against such an offering, so fragile to her own demons from the past really trying to keep herself strong so that her heart couldn't be broken yet again. She let her eyes slip open just a little to look down at her Mother’s hand and noticed that on her arm, she was littered with bruises, ranging in colours from a storm cloud mixture of blue and purple to a more vile mixture of green and yellow, some small and some large but all from the same person. Kaoru’s stomach dropped and she slumped down, taking Asahi’s arm in her hands and analysing it with great care and detail, Kaoru had noticed how she had tried to pull away but with each escape attempt, Kaoru’s grip only got tighter and more angry. 

 

“Was it him?” Were Kaoru’s only words, her eyes darkened with anger and shadowed with disgust.

 

Asahi was stammering her words making them incomprehensible but Kaoru didnt need an answer, she already knew and it made a rage burn deep within her that she had not let surface for four long years. She let her Mother’s arm go and slipped her hands to grasp them in her own, both shaking and both worrying, Kaoru’s eyes widened and she couldn't help but feel a sort of out of body experience holding her Mother’s hands in her own, she had to admit to herself that this is probably what she would look like and be like in another twenty years time and she couldn't tell if the pull in her chest was due to disgust or pride. She let slip a light sigh and looked her Mother straight in her own eyes, seas of red battling each other whilst battling to silently hold on as long as possible, like two ships passing each other in the night, close enough to see what lurked beneath but far enough to not be able to do anything about it. People always did say that a Mother and a Daughter holds a special unbreakable bond and they were right, the world could be ending right now and the hold between them could never be broken. Both were scared, both wilted under their own weakness and inability to be unmoving when they believed something correct but for what was well between the two of them, many horrid memories and secrets of the dark hid beneath, shyness that suffocated them hidden with well practised confidence and a smile that hid them all beneath diamonds and jewels. 

 

“I wan… want to try, with you.” Kaoru’s words were smaller than her Mother’s and her grip became tighter, her eyes shut tight and face crumpled up in a show of fear. Her mind raced with images but one that came to her mind settled every bone in her body. It was you, your eyes staring up at her own, so precious to her and so full of love, your hands wrapped around her body, the touch so soft and welcoming and your lips on her own so warm and inviting. Her mind raced to the kiss earlier, how it became so passionate and hot and how your pants of breath grazed her ears in a noise she would never forget, Kaoru subconsciencly reached up and touched her lips lightly with her fingers much like she had the first time you had kissed. Asahi noticed how her Daughter’s eyes had become glassy and how she got far away, knowing full well what was happening, she had placed her sunglasses back on her face and smiled.

 

“You thinking about her?” Asahi’s sentence was so smooth and calm for such a subject. 

 

Kaoru snapped out of her trance and looked straight at her, a light blush covering her face whilst frowning to see her Mother’s eyes were once again hidden. Kaoru felt the need to be very careful about the subject, the flipancy of her Mother’s tone was very deceptive and as much as she wanted to tell her all about it, this was the subject that broke her at the start, she didnt want to do any of that again or put you in any sort of danger. 

 

“Ah yes sorry, I got distracted for a moment, I won’t burden you with such problems.” Kaoru’s hand gestured up in the air and she became the theatrical person everybody else knew, she felt odd being like this in front of her own parent but another part of her felt like she didnt deserve anymore so she let it go, her Mother raised a very questionable eyebrow at her before speaking again.

 

“Yes… I heard your very theatrical, tell me about it.” Asahi was eager to learn about Kaoru’s theatrical background because she was just the same so she wanted to know if she was just as passionate as she had raised her, to know if she had done at least one thing right. 

 

Kaoru was taken aback by the advancement but went forth anyway. For the next couple of hours they both talked back and forth, the air and atmosphere around them becoming easier and less suffocating as it went on. They talked about ‘Hello, Happy world’ and about Theatre, they conversed about her Mother's business and how successful its become in many ways but not in others eventually though it came to a natural stop and both woman were content but Kaoru had one last matter of business with her Mother, when they stood up and began to walk back to Kaoru’s apartment, Kaoru slipped her hand inside of her jacket pocket and handed her two tickets, all golden and red in colour, specially designed for her family. Asahi looked down at the offering like she had just been spoken to in an alien language and then back up at her Daughter who laughed a little and put them in her hand. 

 

“It’s for the play, Romeo and Juliet, that’s where you'll meet Y/N if you choose to come.” Kaoru hoped she would but she knew her Mother and questioned what she knew about her often. 

 

“But there’s two.” Asahi’s voice was strained and got even worse when Kaoru just nodded at her like she had expected her to understand. 

 

“You and…” Kaoru didnt finish her sentence, she might just throw up if she said his name but Asahi got the message. 

 

She grasped the tickets in her hands and placed them safe in her bag, hidden within her schedule book so it wouldn't be found. She also took note that Kaoru had come to a stop and was fiddling around in her pockets to try and find her keys, she looked up at the building and saw you, dancing in the bedroom to some loud pop music which was probably disturbing the neighbours, you were too far away top make out anything other than your figure but she laughed all the more whilst catching Kaoru’s attention by pointing up. 

 

“Is that her?” Her laughter was getting more prominent but Kaoru didnt mind, in fact it made her happy. 

 

“It is, I’d introduce you but it looks like she isn't ready.” kaoru’s smile beamed from cheek to cheek, full of love and happiness.

 

Asahi huffed in an amused tone, she hadn't seen her daughter look so happy since she was a young girl and she had just found out that Shakespeare had been a real person and not just a fictional character so the fact that somebody else made her Daughter feel so full of joy and life was already a step in the direction that she liked. 

 

“Well I should go, let you get back to dancing queen up there.” She laughed a bemused laugh at her own joke and whipped her car keys around her finger. 

 

Both women stood silent, rigid and unmoving, unsure of how to make the next move, they shuffled together slightly inch by inch and lightly wrapped their arms around one another awkwardly for a few seconds before pulling away and standing cold, the wind making them both shiver in unison garnering a small giggle from Kaoru who moved away first towards the door and unlocking it. 

 

“I hope to see you a-at the play.” Kaoru smiled sincerely at her Mother who just let a small noise out and a smile graced her lips, locking the deal in her heart.

 

“I promise.” And for the first time in years, Kaoru believed her. 

 

Then the door was shut, the wooden frame shuddering a little and the loud thud of Kaoru’s back hitting the door and sliding down its centre echoed throughout the entire apartment. You ran towards the noise, thinking that Kaoru had hit herself against the door with her height but what you got instead was her face in her hands and beneath that was a smile as wide as she could make. 

 

“I did it! I did it!” Kaoru kept repeating over and over until you caught her attention. 

 

At the sight of you, Kaoru shot upwards and wrapped you hard in her arms, her face flowing with tears of joy and her eyes alight with excitement and enthusiasm. You cradled her back and held her as tears fell, capturing them all on your shirt. Once she had calmed down, her breathing had returned to normal and her hands had settled low on your waist swaying you both back and forth on the spot making you fall asleep, the only thing that jolted you awake was the soft “Thank you” coming from Kaoru’s mouth to which you gladly replied “You're welcome” and then her lips were back on yours, you had missed them all day since the kiss this morning and had thought about it many times throughout the day so this warmth was more than wanted. Kaoru made the kiss much more passionate in no time and you were both soon on her bed in the same position you were in earlier, she had carried you there and placed you down on her waist just as gently as a feather, the similar noises to earlier were in the air and this time you didnt want to hold back. Kaoru pulled herself away from you and put her phone on silent and you did the same once you noticed what she was doing and when you returned to each others lips, Kaoru uttered words that sealed the deal.

 

“Y/N, I want you.” 


	16. 8TH WONDER OF THE WORLD

Your heart jumped at those words, you had imagined them being said over and over again when you were alone or when you were in her company and got a ‘particular’ feeling but you had never imagined them to sound as nice as they did, it was like music to your ears, like velvet slipping off of her tongue and intermingling with your own, a sensation so rich you couldn't ever put a price or comparison to it. Her hands were tracing everywhere on your body that they could find, building up courage to make contact with your skin, to lift the soft fabric up and wrap her hands around your back or to travel lower down towards your ass and hold as much as she could. Her body was shivering and tingling with anticipation that was only being stopped from being fully released because she was so shy, so so cutely shy that you couldn't help but stare at her with loving and caring eyes. After some time had passed and she calmed her nerves, her hands and arms snaked up towards the front of your bodies in between you both, starting to undo the buttons at the very top of your shirt and making her way down, under her voice you could hear her repeating something that sounded like steps to taking your shirt of as quickly and as passionately as possible, the small giggle that you were trying to keep inside was making your chest and throat vibrate which she must have mistaken for a moan because even though you couldn't see her face, the tips of her ears flashed a bright red, giving her feelings away quickly, to help her you decided to start to undo her own shirt, unclipping button by button miles quicker than you had meant to and by the time Kaoru was at the bottom of your shirt and unfastening the last button, you had pulled hers off and discard it onto the floor where yours was too met. Both of you stilled for a second, taking in the sights in front of you, Kaoru’s chest was covered with a black lace bra that wasn't too over the top but dramatic enough to be Kaoru’s, that bra was covering small breasts that were near nothing but in some way, it suited her, much like the outfits she wore or her actions that only you saw, they were hidden but when you saw them and they got to be on show with nothing to cover it up, it made you all realize just how much you loved her and wanted her and her uncovered. Kaoru’s stare was becoming heavier, her pupils were getting bigger and the red in her eyes were getting darker, going from a fire red to a wine red that shone through with all the passion that was deep within her. You started to move your lips closer to hers, her stare becoming too much to handle and feeling the need to move the nights actions on quicker, you saw her move lower towards you, the few centimeter difference between you both still obvious even in this position and just as your lips were about to meet, the hot breath panting out of both of your mouths hot on each other, she moved to the side and started to pepper kisses along your jawline and down your neck, catching you by surprise, you let out a moan that you had been holding in for some time and it resonated in the whole room, her kisses only becoming harder and heavier the more noise you made which continued on for some time, Kaoru made soft comments from lips hidden by lust from time to time but one caught you in particular.

 

“My god Y/N, you are so fucking beautiful, why I haven't been able to feel your luxurious body before, I will never understand.” The middle of her sentence was interrupted by the button on your trousers being popped open so smoothly that you didn't even realize until you looked down and saw the mischievous smile on her face. Her smile became wider, her pearly white teeth showing in a look that made you both nervous and aroused at the same time, her mouth went lower and the clink of the metal on your zipper was caught in between her lips and she was slowly, oh so slowly pulling the zipper until she couldn't lower it anymore, letting the top of your red coloured panties peak out from the top of your trousers, her hand slowly tracing random patterns around the visible fabric. Your sat up to get a clearer view of what was happening, feeling the arousal getting wetter and wetter as the seconds past and as each movement ghosted over your skin, your eyes met with each other and the intensity of it all became too much, you flopped back down onto your back and covered your face with your arms, closed your legs to stop her from getting any further and curled up slightly, not too much because you didn't want to ruin the mood but you felt too shy to stay so open and exposed to her. Kaoru’s motions halted completely and she became much more concerned that she had hurt you or moved things too far too fast, her body moved up to lay next to you and wrapped her arms around your waist, pulling you in as close as she could without hurting you.

 

“Why are you hiding? Are you hurt? You don’t need to hide, there is nothing to be afraid of, if you want to stop we ca-”

 

“Cause it’s embarrassing.” Your voice was a little shrill and small with anxiousness.

 

Kaoru let out a little ‘hmph’ noise that you could hear the softening smile behind of and shifted so that she was now on top of you, her hands wrapping around your wrists to move them away from your face, her face features softened with understanding, her chest and stomach were glistening in the lamps light making you feel hotter once again.

 

“I promise I wont do anything you don't like, I'll be gentle and if you don't like anything just tell me and i'll stop.” The corners of her eyes crinkled up with her smile that after a minute or two of calming down, made you forget that you were ever worried about it.

 

You’re were still a little frightened that she might be too dominant and harsh, the way her body was moving and how her chest was heaving made her more dominant than you had ever seen her before though you weren't arguing. You heard a slow, deep laugh that caught you off guard and lips traveling downwards from your chest and stomach towards where you wanted her most, your center dripping wet with anticipation and you tense up a little as she starts to place  bite marks along your sides and hips, getting harder and darker the further she went on but as she feels you tense up harder, she places light kisses over the mark she had just left and joined your hands, fingers interlocked with each other and squeezing lightly, completely re assuring you that it was okay. You nod to yourself, relaxing a bit more as she lowers to your center and pulls your trousers down slowly along with your panties, revealing your legs inch by inch and letting a gasp slip from her throat as she saw you completely naked for the first time, the thought had crossed her mind a few times, imagining and daydreaming about what you would look like but it was nothing compared to what was in front of her right now, your center was dripping with wet, you had long reached your peak of how wet you could get but regardless, you still got hotter and hotter with every movement that she made. When Kaoru had placed your trousers on the floor and got back up onto the bed with you, she rolled her tongue over your skin, a feeling of electric lust shivered through your spine, this went on for a few more minutes before actually going down on you, her tongue was the most amazing feeling you had ever had, your masturbation dreams and thoughts of this was nothing next to the actual motion. She keeps her movements slow and steady and takes her time to make sure that you’re pleasured well, her soft muscle flickering against your clitoris, soft and slow and hard and fast whenever you had calmed down a little, playing with your body like you were the puppet and she was the master, The woman had a tongue like the devil and she knew how to use it. She moaned out in pure ecstasy when she slid her tongue inside of you, flickering and twisting her tongue to get every taste of you that she could, her moans were vibrating against your center and before long you were gripping onto her wherever you could, her hair, her shoulders, her ass, nowhere was untouched. You could feel your insides start to shiver, a low heat rumbling up and threatening to burst if nothing was done soon but you didn't want it on your own, you wanted to cum with her so you grabbed onto a belt loop in her trousers and pulled her up, your wetness dripping down her chin and shining on her lips, her face was in a state of complete confusion but it didn't take long for her to understand what was happening as you slid your hand inside of her trousers, fumbling around in her panties to try and find her sweet spot until a low, drawn out moan was heard and her mouth flew open, the feeling just as new to her as it was to you and you both wanted to share it. Kaoru kicked off her trousers and pushed them onto the floor, wanting to get rid of it as soon as possible so that you could carry on. She had moved up next to you so that you were laid facing each other so you could watch what you were doing to her, you wanted to know how she felt, what made her feel the best and what made her moan and shiver with pure sexual pleasure.

 

“K-Kaoru please!” Your cracked voice breaking away from your pants and moans for a second.

 

““What my dearest? What do you want me to do?” Her voice was slick and flirtatious.

 

You arched your back in frustration and impatience, knowing that her voice alone made you hotter. Her hands, a little cold from the air outside of the bed covers, slid down back towards your heat and started to flick, repeating the motions she made earlier but now with more confidence and rigor than before. You moaned out her name and begged her to go faster to which she happily complied and which you reciprocated, your hands having naturally made there way back down towards her own wet. Both of you were panting, red eyes meeting your own which were fighting to stay open so you could both watch, you started to rut against her hand when the feeling of pressure started to build up again but this time you didn't stop, this time you were letting go and in her hands. Kaoru must have sensed the build up because she slid a long slender finger inside and started to touch you in just the right place, stimulating you both inside and out.

 

“Come for me Y/N, I’m close too, I want to feel it all over my fingers and hands.” Her voice only just barely broke through her own shattering orgasm as you both came, the world around you seeming to turn white and the pulse of pleasure was a thousand times better than you had imagined. The next thing you remember feeling was her fingers slipping out from inside you and her body curling up next to you, her chest pressing right against your own and a soft giggle coming from her mouth, when you regained thoughts that were your own, you turned to face her and immediately flung your arms around her, wanting to feel her close, not daring to let go, you had just let everything about yourself on show and you couldn't bare the thought of not having that to hold and keep any more. Your worries were eased though as Kaoru looked down to you and smiled, her eyes still dark and wide but with a different sort of feeling, a sort of true feeling that rang deep in your heart and soul. It wasn't too long before soft snoring was heard and you felt your eyelids becoming heavy, you planted a kiss on her lips temporarily stopping the noise and then shut your own eyes, letting the night take you both away cradled up with each other, the soft cover of love protecting you both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait guys! Writers block has been kicking my ass and I'm not all too happy with this but I wanted to get something out, so I'm sorry if its not as good as my usual chapters and I may end up rewriting it in the future! Regardless, I hope you stay with the story and look forward to the next chapter!


	17. RIGHTING THE WRONGS

When you wake up the next morning, the sight in front of you the most pleasant you've ever woken up to, her soft eyes lightly shut, lost in a dreamful state of bliss that you didn't want to interrupt despite how badly you wanted to see and hear her, you wanted to hear how her voice became raspy with the morning air and how her eyes opened slowly, filled with admiration and curiosity as they looked up at you. How her naked body became taut as she stretched and how warm she felt against your own body, soft skin on each other, wrapped in each others arms giving you both the feeling of ‘home’. You propped yourself up on one arm and watched Kaoru shuffle and shift about in her place as she adjusted to your movements, you thought about the word home, you always wondered about it when you were younger, thinking it had to just be a place, a room or a building you went back to every night and woke up in every morning, becoming slave to routine surrounded by the same four walls but as you laid in this bed, enveloped by the (fake) velvet covers all scrunched up from both last night's activities and a messy nights sleep from Kaoru’s constant tossing and turning, rambling to herself in her sleep and talking to god knows who, you now understood and realized that the feeling in your heart, was now what you knew as home. Many would argue that it was too quick,  _ “you've only known each other a few months, isn't it a bit fast?”  _ But you didn't care, you knew you loved her and you didn't need time to measure that, all you hoped for now, was that Kaoru felt the same. After you started to feel a little creepy from staring for too long, you slowly snook out of the bedroom and made your way towards the kitchen, deciding to rifle around in her cupboards to see what you could make as a sort of morning surprise for her. After twenty minutes of searching, you eventually located some eggs, rice and soy sauce and decided that tamago- kake- gohan was going to have to do, what marveled you the most though wasn't the flat or the night before, but how it took you so long to find those three things in such a small place, you could touch each side of the room of you stretched your arms out so how she hid things so well was beyond you, regardless you carried on making the breakfast until you heard the small footsteps of Kaoru behind you and loud, deep groans also emitting from her. You looked up behind yourself for a second to meet her and planted a quick brief kiss on her lips before burying your face back into your phone, following the recipe as close as you could. You felt arms snake around your waist and soft hair tickle your neck, feeling a purr against your cheek where her lips were planting chaste kisses against you.

 

“Hmm and what’s this we’re doing? Waking me up with this gorgeous smell and you stood in only my shirt, what a treat.” Her lips curled up into a smile that radiated cheekiness. 

 

You swatted her away and banished her to sit at the table and so she did, sulking that she couldn't get more close time with you but enjoying this playful side to you more than anything. When you had stopped mumbling ingredients and plated up the quick and easy meal, you both sat at the table stuffing your faces quickly, fully aware of the time and even more aware that you had to go to school sooner rather than later. You both exchanged hot flushed looks across the table when you had finally stopped to remember last night but to combat that, you just leaned your arm across the table and opened your hand in an invite for her to join in which she quickly accepted. When you were dressed and ready for school, clad in full shirt and everything, you left hand in hand towards the building that everybody else seemed to love but you still disliked with a passion except for Kaoru and the odd few people such as Tomoe and Moca. You were on the path in the middle of the pavement surrounded by trees that overshadowed you both but not in a scary, intimidating sort of way but in a decorative and almost peaceful way that enveloped you both in a soft blanket before entering the worlds view again. You had tightened the grip on Kaoru’s hand as you walked through the city, unsure of what way to go or what sort of people were around in this sort of area and unfortunately, because you were hand in hand, you were getting a lot of looks that you wished you weren't but rather than letting go, you held on and walked taller because even though it was looked down upon and you both weren't the conventional types, you wanted to prove that love was love and that no matter the people, it was just like the rest of them. Kaoru tightened the grip her back and stood taller along side in a show of understanding and then threw a quick wink out to you, making you blush harder than you were before. You saw a group of heads behind you and recognized them as the girls that had hit you and pushed you down a few weeks ago, the feeling of rage and anger set off deep within you and you let go of Kaoru’s hand before you could hurt her to which she stopped almost instantly, stepping in front of you wondering what was wrong. 

 

“Y/N? Is everything okay? You seem jumpy?” Her eyes searched yours for any clue of what was wrong until she got distracted by the group of girls that were quickly approaching behind you both.

 

“Oh hello everybody, how are you all doing today? I hope my nearest and dearest kittens are all feeling as well as I am.” Kaoru’s hands started flaring up in her dramatic pose, nearly hitting you in the process, lost in her act. 

 

You were quite enchanted with how quickly she changed around in personality, how she went from being so soft and caring to such a Shakespearean, dramatic act in a wisp of air, shocking you a little and knocking you out of your slump that you had on a second ago. 

 

“Hi Kaoru-San, I’m good… Who is this?” The brown haired girl’s steel grey eyes met your own and you shrunk, shifting to stand behind Kaoru a little more in a sort of sub-conscience defense to which Kaoru just smiled and rubbed your arm gently in a reassuring movement that she must have mistaken for shyness. 

 

“Ah, this is Y/N, she isn't usually so shy but please don't be mistaken, she will come around, I believe you had seen her or met her at the studio?.” A small chuckle left her lips, remembering how you had met that evening. 

 

The group of girls nodded also remember that moment and upon seeing such a movement, you became a little calmer and came out of your temporary hiding spot and stood close to her side, hand now intertwined with her own. You did feel a little childish doing this, you could stand up for yourself absolutely fine but being next to her just made you feel… safer. After a while of talking, the brown haired girl, you now knew as Misaki, asked to see you privately for a second to which Kaoru jumped towards, her best friend and partner getting along? What a perfect opportunity! So around the corner of the street you both went, Misaki was only a few paces in front of you and walking with a hunched up position, one that made you feel much more nervous and uncomfortable. When you were outside of the local store, Misaki quickly turned on you and got close to your face before you could even begin to respond, you stepped backwards until you felt the cold stone under your back and you had no choice but to close your eyes and get it over with but what you got instead was a soft, pliant touch on your shoulder and big, soft eyes looking towards you. In your confusion, you flinched a little and shifted so that the majority of her hand was off of you and you held eye contact back, just as intense, in case this was an act for the passers by. 

 

“I’m sorry.” Misaki’s voice was fed up, heavy with what sounded like exhaustion that had you feeling nearly sympathetic. 

 

“W-what?” You could help but stammer out the one word reply.

 

“I’m sorry for that day, I just, I heard that you had started seeing Kaoru and I got defensive, she doesn't really have the best history of decisions and I needed to make sure I knew you were okay and that you knew that she had more than meets the eyes, even if she didn't know about it.” Misaki looked away in embarrassment, remembering how she acted towards you and feeling the guilt in her stomach made her eyes cast even further to the floor. 

 

You didn't quite know what to say to all this, you stood silent, letting the air run between you both and before you could try and reply, she spoke again.

 

“And I’m sorry about the book, it looked important to you… So…” Misaki reached into her school bag at the side of her body and pulled out an aged copy of Romeo and Juliet, It looked like it cost a lot of money and you couldn't quite comprehend that. Misaki held out the book towards you and bowed her head in a movement of apology to which you took and bowed back in thanks. Standing back up straight, you now saw a different girl all together, a strong girl that knew her rights and wrongs and somebody that had grown up quickly with the weight of the world on her shoulders. You wanted to hug her, to tell her it was okay and that you forgave her but she didn't seem much like the hugging type so instead you settled for words. 

 

“Hey, its okay, I understand and its okay, I forgive you and thank you so much for the book, I hope it didn't set you back too much?” Misaki shook her head with vigor but you couldn't tell if she was lying or not, regardless you carried on speaking.

 

“And you really don't have to worry about Kaoru, seriously, I love her and she loves me and believe me when I say that I see way more than meets the eyes, I think that's one of the reasons I love her so much, I promise I won't hurt her or you in turn as her close friend.” You finished with your small speech and looked towards Misaki once again and through those tired eyes, you saw that she was happy with you and that she needed nothing else, even cracking a small smile at you that would have been undetectable if you hadn't looked for it. 

 

Just at that moment, Kaoru popped her head around the corner of the brick building and smiled, happy to see you both conversing so fluently and happily but concerned about the time. 

 

“Y/N, I’m sorry to interrupt but we gott- we must embark towards school, lest we be late again.” Kaoru finished the sentence with a roll of her eyes, only characteristic of her if you were close. 

 

You both nodded towards her and then at each other, silently understanding and parting ways, Misaki joining the rest of the band and you joining Kaoru before heading to school, hand in hand, curiosity got the better of her however and she started to ask questions to which you giggled, having waited for it for about ten minutes.

 

“So what took you so long?” 

 

“We were just talking, sorting something out that had been between us for a while.” Your hand brushed against the book in your bag and you smiled lightly which Kaoru picked up on and smiled lightly back, she felt peace in the most important part of her life and you felt it in a section of yours too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD!! Over 100 Kudos?!?! Thank you all so much!! To anybody that has left kudos, commented, is keeping up with this journey or has simply clicked on the title, thank you all so much! It means the world to me and I hope you all continue to love and read this story as much as I love writing it!


	18. ALWAYS IN YOUR HEART

Asahi woke up in bed to the sight of Koki towering over her, clutching the two golden laced tickets in his fists, his sweaty palms making the paper shine in the bedrooms natural light coming in through the small cracked open window in the room which was faintly letting out the smoke of a freshly lit cigarette to which Asahi scrunched her nose up at. She had always hated the fact that her husband smoked, amongst many other things, but that was one of her very top pet peeves. 

 

“Do you care to tell me what these are?” Koki’s tone was calm but fueled with anger, one only which she had learned to hear over the years.

 

Asahi stretched her body and sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and petting her long purple hair down to rid of any stray fly aways. 

 

“Its two theater tickets, one for you and one for me.” She held out her hand in a gesture for him to return them to her ownership but Koki stubbornly refused, the grip on them only getting tighter.

 

“And why, tell me, are they addressed to Kaoru’s school?” He stepped closer and leaned down, his rough skinned hand running its way along her face before slowly sliding down to place a vice like grip against her neck, slowly but surely applying pressure. 

 

Asahi struggled against his grip, eyes widening with terror whilst she kicked and pushed in any way possible to get away from him and the quickly closing grip he had on her. She could feel her throat closing and her ability to breath becoming harder and harder to focus on as the light in the room started to blur and mingle in with all her other senses. She knew the process of asphyxiation, what happens when her brain isn't getting enough oxygen and how much time she had before she couldn't control her limbs anymore, she remembers learning about it in school, she remembers how she never thought she would need to know about it but studied it with severe intensity nonetheless, maybe it was fate from an early age which would explain why she was so enticed to learn it or if it was just nature but for as much as she knew, her weakness was only the same. He also knew. When the whites of her eyes started to make themselves visible, Koki would let go, hoping that he taught her a lesson on… Whatever she had done. The loud coughing and choked back air making its way back into her lungs were completely blocked off by her husband as he turned his back to her whilst she recovered. He always turned away, Asahi never knew if it was because he couldn't bare to look at the after effect or because he didnt want to make it any worse but she never knew and never would. Her soft hands made their way around her neck and she could already feel the bruising start to rise, the hot flare under her skin raising up with all the blood vessels that had broken under the intense pressure. 

 

“I j-just wanted to do something nice.” Her voice was hoarse with pain and the hot burning sensation but that wouldn't stop her contesting, he was not going to make her feel like seeing her daughter again was the wrong decision. 

 

Koki didnt even acknowledge her sentence but instead crumpled up the tickets into a small ball and dropped them onto the floor, Asahi lunged out of the bed to catch them and unwrap them, a small tear dropping as she saw the golden shimmer dimmed by the creases and tears in the tickets but she still protected them with all she had, day or night, she wanted to make it to this play, she wanted to have a relationship with her daughter and hopefully you. You had been on her mind lately, imagining how you would look and how you met her daughter, only taking the dancing silhouette of you that night as prompt for your personality and looks. What brought her back to the horrors of her reality was the loud slamming shut of the study door down the hall and the cold crisp wind from the outside world that sent a cold shiver down her spine, all she could do was grip her necklace around her neck and hope Kaoru could feel it too. 

 

Kaoru sat up in her seat and scanned the room for you, watching to see if you were okay or even still here, knowing your reputation, you could have been sent to the headmasters office within seconds but to her great relief, you were still there, intensely focusing on your notebook and the mathematics upon the board. Kaoru could see that you were struggling by your furrowed eyebrows and she knew for a fact that Math was your weakest subject. Class seemed to last more than the gruelingly long hour that it did but when it was over, she ran over to you and wrapped her arms around you, enveloping you in a warm blanket that perfectly molded to your body and smelt like the faint scent of her perfume and green tea.

 

“And how has my gorgeous darling been? I noticed you didn't look very happy during class, might you want my help?” Her low voice rung deep in your ears as she playfully nibbled on you and shifted her arms further upwards, aiming for one specific location, one you knew would get you both in trouble as if this hadn't already. You turned around on the spot and put your arms around her neck, standing yourself up on your tiptoes so you could be of equal height to her. 

 

“Hmm and what would you do if I needed help then Miss Seta?” You smirked at her and fluttered your eyes watching her own get darker and lidded with sudden understanding and lust. 

 

“I might just have to teach you a lesson of my own Y/N” Kaoru winked and ran her hand over your body, lightly tracing around your chest until she reached your cheek, covering the trail of blush that plastered your face. 

 

Leaning down, Kaoru moved closer and closer towards your own lips before you started leaning upwards to meet her in the middle but just before you met, you were interrupted by Kaoru’s phone ringing loudly from just underneath the desk you were currently leaned on. You both took a moment to separate from each other with a heavy sigh but regardless Kaoru picked up the phone, frowning at the name on screen in what you couldn't decide whether it was anger or worry. 

 

“Hello Mother? What brings you to call me at such a convenient hour of the day, you are lucky I am on break for I wouldn't ha-” Kaoru speech was interrupted very abruptly, you heard faint shouting coming from the phones speakers and you only noticed the more worrisome expression become more prominent on her face.

 

“Okay, okay don't worry, Ill make it as soon as possible. How did he find out?” What followed was a string of mumbling that you only picked up small words off “journal… morning.... Angry…” The further it got, the further you worried for Asahi and for Kaoru’s health, from what you heard you assumed that Kaoru’s father had lost his mind at Asahi for something but now she was setting to go find her but you didn't want her getting hurt too, you couldn't bare if anything happened so you needed to stop her before she jumped too far ahead of herself. Kaoru always double checked and thought everything through but sometimes she was just a bit too quick for her own good and you could tell this was another one of those times. Her phone slammed shut and she frantically started to pack her things, her mind clearly set in determination to go help her Mother but not without word from you.

 

“Kaoru, don’t you think this could be dangerous? I mean what if he’s there?” Your tone leaked concern and Kaoru, observant as ever, picked this up in an instant, stopping her packing and moving to hold you close to her.

 

“It might be dangerous Y/N but… She's entrusted me with this and it's a chance to show her that I’m who she raised me to be. I can be the prince in this, I promise you won't get hurt and if you ever get concerned whilst I'm away today, just hold onto this.” Kaoru bent down on one knee and rummaged through her abandoned school bag. 

 

Your heart and mind went into overdrive, a deep sense of shock and love shot through you seeing her down on one knee, it sent a few other girls around you into a frenzy also but you weren't watching them, too enticed by the image in front of you. When she had finished digging in her bag she pulled out a box, too big and square to be a ring or anything like the sort but you had a good idea of what it could be. She turned back towards you and looked up, eyes alight with courage and admiration to which only made you melt more. 

 

“I’d like you to wear this whenever you feel lost or need me near, I'll always be in your heart despite any distance whether that’s a mile or a thousand, I love you Y/N.” Kaoru then opened the box to reveal a long necklace with a simple chain and a small diamond coloured the exact same colour as her hair and encasing the diamond was the exact same bright red as her eyes. She held the box up for you to take whilst she got back up on her knees and you gasped at the sight of it, it was so beautiful, you could stare at it for days and you would just get lost in it just like you do with her own eyes. When Kaoru took the box back off of you and released the necklace, you noted that the room was silent, eyes from every angle watching the two of you as she slid the chain around your neck and placed the pendant on your skin with a small smile. Stepping back to see it in full view, her smile only grew and so did yours, touching it with your hands against your chest, it felt like it belonged there and in turn, like she did too. Kaoru got closer again and whispered in your ear as she pulled you in for a hug.

 

“I promise I won’t be long okay? I’m going to see how she is and then i'll be right back, i'll come to yours tonight so have a movie or something ready. Just keep it close.” her voice like velvet made you melt and she knew very well what it did, laughing deeply at the tightening of your grip around her body. 

 

She released you with a whimper and kissed you briefly on the lips, you could sense the panic she had in her gut and your own too but you trusted her and that’s all you could do. You sat down on your desk as you watched her pack the rest of her things up and sling her bag around her shoulder, a confident and proud look on her face to which you couldn't help but return, you reached up to join hands before she let go and headed out, talking to the teacher and giving you one last wave before leaving the school, you watched her through the window leaving the gate, soft purple hair blowing in the wind along with a stride of determination, you clutched the necklace and just prayed she would be okay. 


	19. WATCH THE SHADOWS

The wind in the air was bitter, it was probably her own emotions and feelings making it seem that way but it didn't change the way her eyes would become glassy with worry and panic or how the saliva in her mouth felt suffocating every time she swallowed with the over exhaustion from walking so fast, her heartbeat was ringing through her ears, the sound not helping with her ever-growing headache. Her school bag hitting her side with each stride she took, the sharp point of her school books rammed in haphazardly, sending a sharp stinging like pain through her hip but gritting her teeth bearing with it all. In the distance, Kaoru could see the hospital and pushed herself with one last effort to make it there, lungs burning as she pushed her way through the doors and practically collapsed onto the reception desk.

 

“Hi! Hell-hello there, I’d… Is there an A- Ashai Seta here?” Kaoru’s breaths were ragged and separated by harsh heaving breaths much to the receptionists' confusion.

 

“I-um yes, just let me look for her room a second.” The clicking of the keys on the keyboard only seemed to elaborate the ticking of the clock in the background making her feel more and more impatient as each second passed. Eventually after what felt like hours, the receptionist told her the room number and she was on her way, dodging past wheelchairs, walking sticks and doctors holding boards conversing with others alike, Kaoru frantically pressed the elevator button and ran inside, misjudging the people already in there and ran into them, frantically apologising she turned to face forward, keeping herself out of trouble and only letting her leg twitch with impatience hoping in some small way it would get the elevator to hurry up as she passed each floor as the door opened up to let out and let in more and more people. When the elevator opened up onto her floor, the sight in front of her seemed monumental, door after door with small cold metallic numbers being the only detail separating the next that seemed to go on endlessly for miles and miles, regardless she went on, eyes shifting from door to door until she reached her Mothers door and without a seconds hesitation, she opened the door and ran inside only to be stopped at the grim sight in front of her. 

 

“Mother?” Kaoru sobbed out as she fell to her knees next to her bed, taking in the sight in front of her. Her Mother was laid on the bed, colored with purple and blue littered all over her body but most noticeably around her neck. Her face was swollen and her breathing was labored as her chest raised up and down but her red eyes still shone when she had noticed Kaoru by her side, tears falling down her face with a look of pure upset and devastation for her daughter having to see her like this. Asahi shifted around a little and made a grunt of pain as she moved a particular spot which made Kaoru shoot up onto her feet and help her to sit up in the bed. The physical contact felt a little strange to the both of them with this being the closest they've been to each other in all those years but her Mother needed help and that's what she was there to do. When they were both settled and Kaoru had made sure Asahi was comfortable how she was, the questions soon began.

 

“Did he do this to you?” Kaoru's eyes were dark as she tried to control the amount of rage she was feeling right now.

 

She heard a sigh and then a small “yes” coming from under Asahi’s breath which Kaoru swore she heard a hint of remorse under which only fueled her anger more.

 

“You need to come home with me, please, I don't want him doing this to you anymore.” Kaoru’s voice dripped with a desperation that she hoped her Mother could see in her, she knew she was blind to what she didn't want to see but at this moment, she needed to face the facts and save herself.

 

“Kaoru I can’t do that, not only for you but don't you think he’d only just come and follow? I don’t want to put you in that sort of danger.” Asahi sounded exasperated in her effort to explain and whilst her heart pounded with love from the care radiating from her daughter, the overwhelming doubt and pain stopped her from making any further moves.

 

What Kaoru didn't know was that she Asahi knew exactly what Koki would do, she was surprised that he didn't show his face in this room right at this moment with an angelic look upon him, pretending that nothing had happened and that he was “so shocked that she had gotten into this ‘accident” only to take her home and for it to start all over again. She had never forgiven herself for that first fateful day so whatever she could do to protect her daughter from him, she would do it with all of her life even if it meant suffering. 

 

“It's just not a good idea.” Asahi exclaimed whilst Kaoru let a sigh out from deep within her lungs, knowing that no matter how hard she tried, her Mother wasn't going to let up on the situation. 

 

Some time passed and conversation became lighter, ranging from school to the play and a few questions about you, it acted as more of a distraction than relieving the need to converse lightly. Of course, there was much to catch up on but now, in a white-walled, clinical hospital, neither of them felt it was the appropriate time. The two got so caught up in the little conversations that Kaoru had neglected to realize that it was now dark outside and it was well past the hour that she said she would be back in your company.

 

You were currently walking around the kitchen in your apartment, dressing gown keeping the cold air out from the window that you had opened after you had burnt the popcorn that was supposed to be for tonight. The movie that was playing in the background served as a small distraction for how you felt, your heart had sunk earlier as you watched the clock strike past seven as your leg bounced up and down in anticipation and your hand clenched into a fist around your necklace as a nervous feeling hit you deep in the gut, all you hoped is that she was okay and that nothing bad had come of the trip. You were now staring at that same clock reading 9:34 PM when you had decided to try and calm down and give yourself a breather outside of your window, letting the air into your lungs you noticed a strange figure wondering around, you considered shouting out and offering a hot drink or some sort of help but something about the figure made you cautious, you couldn't make out any features except that they were big built and clearly a male. You decided to move away and go to bed, conscious of the fact that you had school tomorrow and not wanting to be alone anymore to panic, hoping when you woke up the next morning, it would be in the arms of your love. The soft pillows and duvet that wrapped around your body felt like a cloud taking you away to a wonderful land and you soon found your vision slowly fading out to black in a dreamy haze of tranquility.

 

Kaoru, seemingly following the pattern of the entirety of the day, was sprinting back to your apartment, feeling stupid and guilty for letting herself forget about meeting you up tonight and wondering how you were. She was certain you were going to be mad, upset or worse, disappointed in her but it was her owning and she had to face whatever you had to throw. As she came around the corner, she noticed the figure you had seen earlier but this time, he was watching with more intent, Kaoru felt her hand clutch into a fist in her jacket pocket and prayed he wouldn't follow, his eyes glinted in the street light but he was hidden just enough that she couldn't quite make out the color of them, regardless, she kept her head down and just sped up her pace until she was at your front door, jingling keys into the metal lock before entering and closing the door shut as quietly as she could hoping not to disturb you. The warm air of your apartment hit her face and it was more than welcomed, feeling her cold body relax as she took off her shoes and made her way through the apartment in hopes of finding you. 

 

When she reached your bedroom, the sight of you curled up in your bed made her heart melt, she wasn't sure whether it was with pride or love or a combination of both but the warm feeling warmed her more than any heater could. She had started to undress and rummage around for some pajamas so she could crawl in next to you when she heard a small sniffle come from your sleeping body and as she turned around to figure out what was wrong, she noticed in the dim glimmer of the lamp at the bedside, a small tear roll down your face. Feeling her heart sink with guilt and shared upset, Kaoru stripped down, forgetting about the pajamas and carefully made her way into bed next to you as to not disturb your sleep and wrapped her arms around you, hoping that her presence in the morning would be enough to make up for the day the both of you had gone through. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I am so so sorry Its been so long since I updated this, I have been so busy and I've only just been able to start writing this again but more regular from now on and I promise we will get some sweet fluff soon! I really appreciate your feedback and all the likes and kudos on the work and I hope you continue to enjoy it!!


	20. MORNING OF LOVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A domestic fluff chapter to get back into the swing of writing again!!

The sound of your alarm clock ripping you from your sleep was the first thing you noticed in the morning. The second thing you noticed was the heavyweight around your mid-section, a long slender arm whos grip got tighter the further away you reached. The events of last night were lost to you and everything but that strange man outside was a blurry haze, so you hoped and prayed with all you have that it was Kaoru next to you and nobody else and rest assured, once you turned off the alarm that had disturbed you from your rather wonderful dream and you turned over, the long locks of purple hair and smooth slender body that was now against yours was more than enough confirmation that the girl you loved was right next to you, small snores and a line of drool slowly making it’s way down her cheek, making you giggle. She had always amazed you with how she could sleep through most things such as the deafening sound of that alarm or an earthquake but the second you made the slightest noise of discomfort, she was up and awake like she had never been asleep in the first place. You noticed on the wrist of her arm wrapped around you, that she still had her hospital admission band on from when she visited her Mother last night and you breathed a sigh of relief, somewhere in the back of your mind, in your haze of panic last night, you had questioned whether or not she was actually where she had said and nobody could blame you, with all of those women throwing themselves at her every time she dared move, she was bound to run into a handful of attractive girls from time to time. 

 

“Kaoru” You mewled to her and lightly nudged her to wake up, but with no success.

 

“Kaoru” Your call was louder now and with a more urgent tone but still no movement so you decided to use the secret weapon.

 

You pulled back the covers wrapped around her and laid grounded for a minute whilst you admired her toned body laying next to you, you felt a little heat start to build up in the pit of your stomach and cursed that it was a school day but after a moment, you straddled her hips and started lightly stroking down her sides, making the prince beneath you shift slightly before you dug your fingers in and assaulted her with tickles which instantly drew her awake and into a fit of laughter before she could even say good morning. It was a rare known fact that Kaoru was extremely ticklish and would do anything she could to avoid it happening but your attack was unseen so she had no choice but to writhe around trying to get away from you with bursts of breathy laughter not giving her a second chance to even think straight.

 

When you felt that her punishment was satisfactory, you let her rest and catch her breath, her eyes watery with tears of laughter in them and her chest heaving up and down, trying to speak at the same time.

 

“Good morning Y/N. I have to admit I didn't expect that kind of wake up when I got into bed last night.” Kaoru mused with a small laugh seemingly now having calmed down after the attack. 

 

You smirked at the cheek of the girl underneath you and decided to play a game of teasing back with her.

 

“Oh? And how did you expect to be woken up? Like this?” You leaned down and started planting soft, velvety kisses along her neck and thriving in the small vibrations coming from her throat clearly enjoying the sensation. Kaoru’s hands started to caress your side and tried to sneak her touch underneath your t-shirt but were no match for your reflexes pinning her down onto the mattress with just enough force to make her ache. You both stopped and let your breathing return to normal, leaving just a warm and radiating smile upon each other faces with soft giggles coming out every now and then. 

 

“I really am sorry though, I never meant to be so long.” Kaoru’s tone dropped and you relaxed slightly, understanding the situation and letting the whole matter go. 

 

“You’re here now, that's what matters. Though there was a strange man wandering around last night and he kept hovering around here more than anywhere else, it worried me a little.” Your gaze dropped to the side and your face crinkled into a frown.

 

Kaoru below you ranged through multiple emotions, from shocked to worried to protective, making your heart pound at such a thought, being wrapped up in her long slender arms as she kept you safe from whoever this man was, however, you quickly learnt that wasn't the reason for her expression. 

 

“A man was following me yesterday too, he was around here when I was making my way back, he looked familiar in a funny kind of way. It made my stomach turn.” Kaoru’s eyes widened as she gripped her stomach that appropriately started rumbling just as she did. 

 

The sound made you giggle and rub her tummy, tempted to start tickling her again but thought better of it before getting off of her hips, you looked at the clock and noticed you had maybe an hour before you had to leave for school. The thought of school made you want to fall to the floor in defiance but before you could, Kaoru snaked her arms around you and held you upright, pulling you as close to her chest as she possibly could. Her sort purple hair slightly cascading over your shoulders and her bright red eyes trying to capture your attention, still rough with sleep that she hadn't quite woken up from yet and a little glassy with lust from your earlier tease. After both having gotten ready amidst whining about your school uniform in such weather and stalling with getting ready as much as possible, you soon made your way to the dining table where breakfast was placed, made by Kaoru as an apology for last night and because she was ready a little while before you. You were both now peacefully sitting and eating, you slowly scrolling through social media on your phone, chewing lazily on your food trying to keep yourself up and Kaoru flicking through a newspaper, casting the occasional glance over at you, her smile getting bigger each time. Kaoru felt her heart triple in size, seeing you across from her, hair a mess, nodding sleepily and laughing at the odd thing on your phone that you would share if you felt it appropriate. Really she should be worried about how quickly her ambitions have turned from acting and writing to ‘spend my life with Y/N’ and ‘settle down with Y/N’. She absolutely lived for her passions, there isn't any doubt and the great bard would always be a great love but this right now was serenely domestic and she felt the warm glow of happiness that couldn't be overtaken with anything else. Kaoru was so lost in her thoughts, that she didn't even notice her name being spoken by her angel's soft lips. 

 

“Kaoru?” You tilted your head a little wondering why she wasn't responding. 

 

Kaoru shook herself back to reality, putting her newspaper down on the table. “Ah yes, my littl- uh yes Y/N?” Her face widening with panic at what she nearly said. 

 

You giggled at her panic but brushed it off as you put your phone on the table but continued to eat. “So, how was your Mum?” 

 

Kaoru sat upright but calmed after a few moments, taking a deep breath, ready to explain the events of last night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everybody, I am sincerely sorry for it being a few months since this has been updated, I will be honest as I would like to be with all readers, I lost all motivation to write and this suffered as a result but it seems I have pulled back the confidence to carry on and am now working on multiple chapters to publish and let this carry on! My confidence is low and shakey still so please do forgive me if this chapter is any different. I, with all my heart, appreciate everything that has been said, comments that have been made and support that has been given and cannot thank you all enough for keeping with this. Until the next chapter <3


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